Time to Show You Care for Your Expectant Spouse

With an expanding waistline and hormones going completely crazy, it is natural for the expectant mom to feel insecure. At a time like this it is up to you, as the partner, to step in and make her feel loved and adored. There are a number of ways to do this.

* Giving her a massage: Pregnancy is often attended by unpleasant sensations, stiff joints, and painful swellings. Giving her a gentle massage is one way you can make her feel better after a particularly hard day.

* Helping with the housework: At this stage in her life, your spouse will really appreciate the opportunity for some rest. Lightening her burden, by taking on some of her chores, will tell her how much you love her.

* Making her feel special: Your spouse's pregnancy may have completely unsettled the rhythm of her life. As the pregnancy advances, she may be forced to spend more time at home. You can make her feel special by buying her flowers or chocolates. Playing her favorite music or redecorating the bedroom are other ways in which you can lighten her spirits.

* Informing yourself on pregnancy and your new baby: Now is the time for you to show that you're more than just the reason she's pregnant; you're in it for the long haul. Buy or borrow books on pregnancy that you can read together, or read some dad-oriented books yourself, such as Pickles and Ice Cream: A Father's Guide to Pregnancy, or Every Guy's Guide as to What To Expect When She's Expecting, so you can speak intelligently on the subject.

* Complimenting her looks: It is quite natural for a woman to feel insecure about herself during her pregnancy. With her rapidly expanding figure, she may start having serious doubts about whether you, her husband, still love her just as much as before. Telling her that she looks great will reassure her and put her at ease. In fact this phase, when both of you are eagerly awaiting the birth of your child, can be a great time for bonding. Be aware that in her more vulnerable and less mobile condition, you owe her the constant reassurance that you're there for her. Jokes or statements to the contrary may bring tears or worse. Be doubly thankful at this time that you're not carrying a baby in your stomach.

* Taking her out: There are a number of ways in which you can break the routine of her life and her growing claustrophobia. Take her out to a movie or to a concert. Plan a shopping trip or treat her to a romantic dinner. One caveat: make sure you have a getaway plan if she gets uncomfortable and plan for easy bathroom breaks.

To really be a star husband, fathers-to-be can think of unique ways to show pregnancy care, such as purchasing her favorite flavor of ice cream or painting the nursery unprompted.

How to Keep Love Alive During Pregnancy

It's never easy to understand women when it comes to sex and they often experience changes in their sexual drives when they're pregnant: some pregnant wives claim to feel sexier than ever while others feel nauseated just thinking about the act. That said, you should know what to do with the desire when it arrives.

Sex opens up many pathways of communication between couples. And don't forget: women love to be reassured and seduced, especially when they are feeling bloated and uneasy about their bodies. It's the fact that you love her in spite of the facts of her appearance which is truly touching for a woman.

Here are a few strategies to make your pregnant wife fall in love with you again:

* Dinner with flowers: Nothing says you love your woman more than an average pizza and apple pie served by a waiter. If you can order out from your pregnant wife's favorite restaurant, that will be bliss itself. Consider this a major part of the foreplay. On the other hand, if eating out is a constant thing for you, actually making her dinner yourself may be the required angle here. Romance is done around the dinner table, so figure out what will be the big mood changer for your pregnant wife.

* Spice it up: In case you're wondering, here's what you do with the flowers. The idea is to lay out your bedroom with petals and flowers, put on some Marvin Gaye, and do a little dance-who knows? Your pregnant wife might appreciate the comical element.

* The main course: Presuming that you have already allayed her fears about sex, you may now proceed with the main course. Lay your pregnant wife on her back gently and caress her with the tip of your fingers. A massage is not a bad idea provided it doesn't put her to sleep.

* The right stuff: Use a love-making position that is comfortable, one that doesn't put pressure on her abdomen. Be gentle and loving.

* Plan B: If your pregnant wife is uncomfortable with regular intercourse (because of fears for the baby or other discomfort), you might hint at oral sex (for her, not you, dummy. You just have to hope an even trade might be part of the bargain.)

Things to avoid

* Don't get hasty. Work up to things slowly. Don't be inconsistent with your responses to her body. This will be a sure turn off for your wife, pregnant or not.

* Don't try too hard. If she's been suffering from cramps and aches, it's best to just give her a massage and tuck her into bed. Believe us when we say you will get no points for being whiny with a pregnant wife about your rotten sex life.

* Don't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do. It's always your pregnant wife's prerogative to say "no."

* Avoid the missionary position when you make love since this can put too much pressure on your pregnant wife's stomach.

Valentine's Day celebrates romance. It is only natural that you celebrate the occasion by giving your spouse a Romantic Valentine's Day gift.

Pregnancy And Folic Acid

Planning a baby? If your wife is trying to get pregnant, getting plenty of folic acid is important to help lower the risk of a baby with a neural tube defect such as spina bifida or anencephaly.

What is Folic Acid and why should my spouse take it?

Folic acid is a B vitamin, which helps the body make healthy new cells. According to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, all women need folic acid. When a woman has enough folic acid before and during pregnancy, it can help prevent major birth defects of her baby's brain or spine.

Be sure your spouse gets enough folic acid every day. She should start before she gets pregnant. Folic acid is needed during the first few weeks, often before a woman knows she is pregnant. And half of all pregnancies in the U.S. are not planned. That is why it's so important to start taking folic acid each day, even when she is not planning to get pregnant.

Folic acid might also have other benefits for men and women of any age. Some studies show that folic acid might help prevent heart disease, stroke, some cancers, and possibly Alzheimer's disease.

How much folic acid should your spouse take?

Following are the conditions outlined by the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services which will help you determine how much folic acid your spouse should take.

• She is able to get pregnant. She should take 400 mcg of folic acid every day
• She is pregnant. She should take 600mcg of folic acid every day.
• She is breastfeeding. She should take 500mcg of folic acid every day
• She has had a baby with spina bifida or anencephaly and wants to get pregnant again. She should talk with her doctor, and ask for a prescription for a higher dose of folic acid. She should take 4,000 micrograms (4,000 mcg) starting at least one to three months before getting pregnant and during the first 3 months of pregnancy. That's 10 times the normal amount! But don't let her try to get the larger amount by taking more than one multivitamin or prenatal vitamin a day. She could get too much of another vitamin that could harm her or the baby
• You spouse has had a baby with spina bifida or anencephaly. She is not planning to have another baby. She should take 400 mcg of folic acid every day.

If you are about to start a family with your spouse, you will often hear about family planning. But what really does it mean? Family planning is often understood as prevention of pregnancy.

Precautions with Pets during Pregnancy

If you have pets in the family, it is natural that you will have concerns regarding them during your spouse's pregnancy. Fortunately, you need not rush to offer your pet for adoption. Discuss with your vet any risks that your pet may pose for the baby and take adequate steps to eliminate them before bringing the baby home.

These are some of the precautions you might have to take with your pet:

Dogs

• Retrain your dog to modify any of its habits that could be a problem once the baby arrives.
• Teach it to distinguish between its own toys and those of the baby.
• Once the baby arrives, continue to show attention to your pet as before to avoid jealousy.
• Do not leave your dog alone with the child.

Cats

• Have your spouse tested for toxoplasmosis immunity to avoid infecting the baby.
• Do not let your spouse change your pet's litter box.
• Do not leave the cat alone with the baby.

Birds

• Inform your spouse's doctor about your bird and discuss precautions you may need to take.
• Have a pet bird examined beforehand to rule out the risk of infection to your baby.
• Make it a practice for both you and your spouse to wash your hands after handling your pet or its cage.

Exotic pets

• Inform your spouse's doctor about your pet and discuss precautions you may need to take.
• Make it a practice for both you and your spouse to wash your hands after handling your pet or its cage.
• Do not allow pets such as reptiles, amphibians, or tarantulas near the kitchen or area where you prepare your baby's food.
• Do not let your baby handle your exotic pet.

Importance of Writing a Birth Plan

While this might seem like something for your wife to do, it's important that you, as a supporting cast member, be very involved in making the decisions now on how labor and delivery will unfold.

Some decisions must be your wife's alone, like whether to have an epidural or allow for an episiotomy, and in those cases, your role is to be supportive of her decision. But there are other decisions that may even fall uniquely to you as well.

Do you want to "catch" the baby as he comes out? Do you want to cut the umbilical cord (sometimes also an option for mom)? Some of these questions will be easier than others, but consider: Will you allow the staff to provide formula milk, which may interfere with the start of breastfeeding? Do you want your new baby to lie on mommy's chest as soon as possible after birth? Will you allow videos or photos taken during delivery? It is very important that you and mom-to-be write all these decisions down and discuss them openly so there is no difference of opinion in the delivery room, either with the hospital staff, and especially between you and your partner.

Make sure to provide a copy of this plan to your doctor and bring one to the hospital to put in your records.

Your spouse will soon be approaching her due date. The actual event of birth can always spring some surprises when you least expect them. Drawing up a birth plan that clearly lists your preferences and expectations will help you handle emergencies better.

These are some typical questions, the answers to which will help you draw up a birth plan. Some concern issues that require both you and your spouse to decide upon jointly. The others may be left for the mother alone to state her preferences-in consultation with her obstetrician if so required. Be ready to offer your suggestions if she asks for them, though.

Questions for mom and dad

• How would you prefer your baby's heartbeat to be monitored?
• Should you, as the dad, be the one to cut the umbilical cord?
• Will you opt for cord-blood banking for your baby?
• Would you want a pacifier for your baby after birth?
• Do you want your baby, if a boy, to be circumcised?

Questions only for mom

• Should the delivery take place at home, at a birth center, or in a hospital?
• Whom would she prefer to have around her during the delivery?
• Would she prefer to take medication to manage pain? If so, which?
• Should she be given fluids intravenously, or would she prefer to drink them orally?
• Would she prefer to have a mirror, in position before her, to enable her to see the baby being born?
• Would she prefer breastfeeding? If so, would she prefer to nurse immediately after delivery?
• Should your older children, if any, be present in the hospital after the delivery?
• How long would she prefer to stay in the hospital?

Top 5 Signs of Pregnancy

It is commonly believed that women instinctively know when they are pregnant. That's only part of the truth. The onset of pregnancy is marked by a series of changes in their bodies. Women who are sensitive to these symptoms-especially if they have been pregnant before-correctly interpret them as signs of pregnancy.

# 1. Nausea. Symptoms of nausea are a very common sign of pregnancy. Popularly termed 'morning sickness,' the symptoms may be felt at all times of the day. Many women also develop an intense aversion to certain smells or tastes, of food items for instance, that they liked earlier. Symptoms of nausea may continue to be felt even into the second semester.

# 2. Abdominal bloat. Soon after conception, hormonal changes cause the abdomen to feel distended. Your spouse may complain that her clothes are getting tighter. This pregnancy sign is similar to the feeling of bloat she experiences when she has her periods.

# 3. Tender breasts. If your spouse complains that her breasts pain when you touch them, you may have reason to rejoice. Tenderness or soreness of the breasts is another obvious sign of pregnancy. The pain is similar to, but usually more intense than, what women experience during periods. A related pregnancy symptom is a feeling of fullness in the breasts. The appearance of the breasts may also change with veins becoming visible under the skin.

# 4. Montgomery's tubercules. Somber as the phrase sounds, it simply refers to the wart like projections that form around the areolas-the dark area surrounding the nipples- of the breasts.

# 5. Missed periods. A very likely sign of pregnancy is when your spouse misses a period. The scanty menstrual-like flow that sometimes appears at the time of implantation-around ten days after conception-is not a period, and, in fact, indicates a pregnancy.