Sure, you can wade through 60,000 names and look for the one that catches your fancy. Another approach is to sit down with a glass of wine (grape juice for mom-to-be) and make the following questions into a game. Brainstorm using some or all of these questions and see what kind of ideas they spark.
You may have expended thought and consideration in selecting an appropriate name for your child. However, some things you could overlook may result in your child's name ending up with an unintentional blooper attached to it.
Consider the following points while selecting your child's name:
• Avoid names that lead to cruel nicknames: Accepted, kids will always be kids, and almost any name can be twisted to conjure up an appropriately cruel nickname. However, try to avoid names that obviously lend themselves to a negative nickname.
• Consider your child's initials: While choosing a name, always keep in mind the initials that the name will form along with the middle name and the surname. Write these initials down and check that they do not connote something negative or undesirable. For instance, if your child's full name is Peter Oliver Taylor, the initials will spell out as 'POT,' which may not exactly be flattering.
• Consider how the name will be shortened: Almost all names having two or more syllables invariably get shortened to an informal abbreviation. Consider what the most obvious shortened version of your child's name will be. For instance, its fine when Timothy becomes Tim and Daniel is shortened to Dan, but remember, Madison will be Mad, and Fatima, Fat!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
When to Worry About Dehydration in Your Baby
Dehydration refers to a condition when the amount of fluid in a person's body is less than the ideal requirement. Babies and infants are commonly susceptible to dehydration. Dehydration in babies occurs mainly when they take in less fluid than they lose, typically through vomiting, diarrhea, fever, or perspiration. While dehydration is often mild and easily reversible, sometimes it can also be serious and potentially life threatening.
The following symptoms indicate that your child could be getting dehydrated:
• Your baby does not pass urine for more than six hours.
• Your baby's urine is dark yellow in appearance and smells quite strong.
• Your baby's appears lethargic.
• Your baby's mouth is dry or the lips are parched.
The following symptoms indicate that your baby has serious dehydration:
• Your baby's eyes are sunken in the sockets.
• Your baby's hands and feet feel cold and appear splotchy.
• Your baby experiences dizziness or seems delirious.
Here is what you can do:
• If you suspect your baby is becoming dehydrated, consult a pediatrician immediately. You could give your baby a special electrolyte liquid drink that is designed to help recover lost water and salts from the body.
• If you suspect serious dehydration, rush your baby to the emergency room. Babies get dehydrated quickly and an intravenous infusion may be necessary to restore the balance of fluids.
Note: Do not give your baby one of the sports drinks that are advertised to help sportsmen cope with dehydration; while these contain electrolytes, their sugar concentration is too high. Use Pedialyte, Infalyte, ReVital, or similar brands of electrolyte liquids that are specially designed to help rehydrate children. You may continue to breastfeed or bottle-feed your baby.
The following symptoms indicate that your child could be getting dehydrated:
• Your baby does not pass urine for more than six hours.
• Your baby's urine is dark yellow in appearance and smells quite strong.
• Your baby's appears lethargic.
• Your baby's mouth is dry or the lips are parched.
The following symptoms indicate that your baby has serious dehydration:
• Your baby's eyes are sunken in the sockets.
• Your baby's hands and feet feel cold and appear splotchy.
• Your baby experiences dizziness or seems delirious.
Here is what you can do:
• If you suspect your baby is becoming dehydrated, consult a pediatrician immediately. You could give your baby a special electrolyte liquid drink that is designed to help recover lost water and salts from the body.
• If you suspect serious dehydration, rush your baby to the emergency room. Babies get dehydrated quickly and an intravenous infusion may be necessary to restore the balance of fluids.
Note: Do not give your baby one of the sports drinks that are advertised to help sportsmen cope with dehydration; while these contain electrolytes, their sugar concentration is too high. Use Pedialyte, Infalyte, ReVital, or similar brands of electrolyte liquids that are specially designed to help rehydrate children. You may continue to breastfeed or bottle-feed your baby.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Dad's Participation in the Pregnancy
While they may not carry the baby in their wombs, most dads are keen to be as involved as possible with the new addition to the family. One way they can do this is to accompany their partners during their medical checkups.
These are some of the benefits you gain by accompanying your spouse to the obstetrician:
• It will make your spouse feel better. Always remember that she's making a huge sacrifice that we guys would never want to make. The least you can do is make time for a few appointments so she feels you are in the game with her.
• For the average guy, pregnancy is one big mystery. Going along to meet the doctor will give you the opportunity to ask questions and clarify your doubts.
• It will help you understand your partner's state. Visiting her doctor will also enable you to update yourself on your baby's progress.
• Unlike your spouse, who is bringing up the baby inside her, you may not feel equally excited about the pregnancy. Being able to see the baby's ultrasound image and hearing those tiny heartbeats will help you connect to your unborn baby.
• As the pregnancy advances, the obstetrician will play an increasingly important role in your life as a couple. It is important that you establish a rapport with the doctor and the other hospital staff so that you are more comfortable in dealing with them later when you need to do so. You don't want to be meeting the obstetrician for the first time when your baby is being born.
• Bring a video recorder or a camera phone and with your finger clearly over the lens the entire time, record the first sounds of your baby's heartbeat. This may come in handy later on if you ever find time to make a birth video.
These are some of the benefits you gain by accompanying your spouse to the obstetrician:
• It will make your spouse feel better. Always remember that she's making a huge sacrifice that we guys would never want to make. The least you can do is make time for a few appointments so she feels you are in the game with her.
• For the average guy, pregnancy is one big mystery. Going along to meet the doctor will give you the opportunity to ask questions and clarify your doubts.
• It will help you understand your partner's state. Visiting her doctor will also enable you to update yourself on your baby's progress.
• Unlike your spouse, who is bringing up the baby inside her, you may not feel equally excited about the pregnancy. Being able to see the baby's ultrasound image and hearing those tiny heartbeats will help you connect to your unborn baby.
• As the pregnancy advances, the obstetrician will play an increasingly important role in your life as a couple. It is important that you establish a rapport with the doctor and the other hospital staff so that you are more comfortable in dealing with them later when you need to do so. You don't want to be meeting the obstetrician for the first time when your baby is being born.
• Bring a video recorder or a camera phone and with your finger clearly over the lens the entire time, record the first sounds of your baby's heartbeat. This may come in handy later on if you ever find time to make a birth video.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
Sudden Infant Death syndrome (SIDS) is defined as the sudden, unexplained death of an infant, and is the one of the main causes of death among infants between a month and a year. SIDS is said to occur only when no possible explanation can be found even after:
* Autopsy
* Examination of the place where the death occurred
* Review of medical history of infant and family
The baby typically does not seem to show any sign of suffering and death occurs rapidly. In addition, SIDS is commonly known as crib death because of a strong link with sleep. It is estimated that 2,500 babies in the United States die of unknown causes every year.
Probable Causes
While no single cause can be pinpointed, researchers believe that SIDS may be the result of a combination of several factors.
During pregnancy:
* Consumption of prohibited substances during pregnancy (tobacco, alcohol, drugs, etc.)
* Early motherhood
* Poor medical care during pregnancy
* Short interval between two pregnancies
After birth:
* Exposure to smoke after birth
* Sleeping on the stomach or sleeping on too soft a surface
The last point should be emphasized, as babies tend to pause in their breathing, or re-breathe exhaled air, reducing the amount of oxygen in their blood while increasing carbon dioxide. Babies need clear space around their heads to breathe freely.
Prevention
* Ensure that your child always sleeps on the back. Sleeping on the side is also not a good alternative. For babies, sleeping on the back reduces the chance of accidental death greatly.
* Your infant's sleep area should be firm, without any pillows, toys, or covering. A firm mattress is preferable to a soft one. Remove stuffed animals during nap or sleep time
* Keep a comfortable room temperature. Excess body heat is seen to increase the chances of SIDS.
* For unknown reasons, breast-feeding and pacifiers are known to decrease the risk of SIDS.
* Keep the air around the baby free of smoke.
* Autopsy
* Examination of the place where the death occurred
* Review of medical history of infant and family
The baby typically does not seem to show any sign of suffering and death occurs rapidly. In addition, SIDS is commonly known as crib death because of a strong link with sleep. It is estimated that 2,500 babies in the United States die of unknown causes every year.
Probable Causes
While no single cause can be pinpointed, researchers believe that SIDS may be the result of a combination of several factors.
During pregnancy:
* Consumption of prohibited substances during pregnancy (tobacco, alcohol, drugs, etc.)
* Early motherhood
* Poor medical care during pregnancy
* Short interval between two pregnancies
After birth:
* Exposure to smoke after birth
* Sleeping on the stomach or sleeping on too soft a surface
The last point should be emphasized, as babies tend to pause in their breathing, or re-breathe exhaled air, reducing the amount of oxygen in their blood while increasing carbon dioxide. Babies need clear space around their heads to breathe freely.
Prevention
* Ensure that your child always sleeps on the back. Sleeping on the side is also not a good alternative. For babies, sleeping on the back reduces the chance of accidental death greatly.
* Your infant's sleep area should be firm, without any pillows, toys, or covering. A firm mattress is preferable to a soft one. Remove stuffed animals during nap or sleep time
* Keep a comfortable room temperature. Excess body heat is seen to increase the chances of SIDS.
* For unknown reasons, breast-feeding and pacifiers are known to decrease the risk of SIDS.
* Keep the air around the baby free of smoke.
Monday, October 20, 2008
The History of Halloween
Halloween is celebrated on the evening of October 31. People dress up in scary costumes of supernatural monsters on this night. Children go trick-or-treating, traveling from house to house, and asking for candy. Holiday goers also attend parties or bonfires and visit haunted houses.
What is the history of Halloween?
The history of Halloween is said to have originated from a Celtic festival called Samhain, which was a Gaelic celebration marking the close of the harvest season. October 31 marked the night when the worlds of the living and the dead collided. It was believed that the dead would be resurrected, causing chaos in the world of the living through illness and ruined crops. People are said to have donned costumes and masks to imitate and flatter the dead spirits.
According to the history of Halloween, the celebration of Samhain included bonfires. The fire lured insects, which attracted bats. This is why bats are considered a stereotypical symbol of the holiday.
The American tradition of Halloween originated from the traditional practices of nineteenth century Irish and Scottish immigrants in North America. Later, other western countries, such as Canada and Puerto Rico, also started to celebrate the holiday.
What is the history of Halloween's trick-or-treating custom?
Trick-or-treating was born from a European custom from the ninth century. Earlier, on November 2 or All Souls Day, Christians used to travel from town to town in search of "soul cakes," a treat of bread with currants. This was known as "souling." In exchange for the cake, the beggars would offer prayers to hasten the passage to heaven of the souls of the contributors' deceased relatives.
How did the current history of Halloween evolve?
Halloween's popularity in the United States grew so much that it influenced similar celebration in Europe. More recent history of Halloween in the United Kingdom reveals that mischievous children have often pushed their luck with the "trick" element of trick-or-treating, so that police have had to crack down on them. Similar menacing "tricks" in other countries in Europe have raised red flags about the celebration of this holiday.
What is the history of Halloween?
The history of Halloween is said to have originated from a Celtic festival called Samhain, which was a Gaelic celebration marking the close of the harvest season. October 31 marked the night when the worlds of the living and the dead collided. It was believed that the dead would be resurrected, causing chaos in the world of the living through illness and ruined crops. People are said to have donned costumes and masks to imitate and flatter the dead spirits.
According to the history of Halloween, the celebration of Samhain included bonfires. The fire lured insects, which attracted bats. This is why bats are considered a stereotypical symbol of the holiday.
The American tradition of Halloween originated from the traditional practices of nineteenth century Irish and Scottish immigrants in North America. Later, other western countries, such as Canada and Puerto Rico, also started to celebrate the holiday.
What is the history of Halloween's trick-or-treating custom?
Trick-or-treating was born from a European custom from the ninth century. Earlier, on November 2 or All Souls Day, Christians used to travel from town to town in search of "soul cakes," a treat of bread with currants. This was known as "souling." In exchange for the cake, the beggars would offer prayers to hasten the passage to heaven of the souls of the contributors' deceased relatives.
How did the current history of Halloween evolve?
Halloween's popularity in the United States grew so much that it influenced similar celebration in Europe. More recent history of Halloween in the United Kingdom reveals that mischievous children have often pushed their luck with the "trick" element of trick-or-treating, so that police have had to crack down on them. Similar menacing "tricks" in other countries in Europe have raised red flags about the celebration of this holiday.
Dads, Do You Know What An Apgar Score Is?
It is a test used by doctors at the time of your child's birth. It helps assess the baby's health and overall condition and determine the need for further medical intervention. The doctor will calculate your baby's Apgar score one minute-and again five minutes- after birth. Ratings for each point are assigned between zero (lowest) and two (highest). These numbers are then totaled, with 10 indicating a perfect score.
An Apgar score is calculated on the following basis:
Activity (muscle tone)
0 - Limp and without movement
1 -Arms and legs flexed with little movement
2 - Active and spontaneous motion
Pulse (heart rate)
0 - Pulse absent
1 - Below 100 beats per minute
2 - Above 100 beats per minute
Grimace (reflex response)
0 - Responses absent
1 - Facial movement only
2 - Facial movement along with pulling away, coughing, or sneezing
Appearance (color)
0 - Bluish-gray or pale all over the body
1 - Normal body color but with bluish hands or feet
2 - Normal body color all over
Respiration
0 - Breathing absent
1 - Weak, slow, or irregular breathing
2 - Good, normal breathing
The one-minute score indicates whether the baby requires immediate attention. The five-minute score indicates the subsequent rate of the baby's progress.
An Apgar score is calculated on the following basis:
Activity (muscle tone)
0 - Limp and without movement
1 -Arms and legs flexed with little movement
2 - Active and spontaneous motion
Pulse (heart rate)
0 - Pulse absent
1 - Below 100 beats per minute
2 - Above 100 beats per minute
Grimace (reflex response)
0 - Responses absent
1 - Facial movement only
2 - Facial movement along with pulling away, coughing, or sneezing
Appearance (color)
0 - Bluish-gray or pale all over the body
1 - Normal body color but with bluish hands or feet
2 - Normal body color all over
Respiration
0 - Breathing absent
1 - Weak, slow, or irregular breathing
2 - Good, normal breathing
The one-minute score indicates whether the baby requires immediate attention. The five-minute score indicates the subsequent rate of the baby's progress.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
How to Cut Costs with Halloween Costumes
There's no reason to overspend on Halloween costumes if you plan ahead. Here are tips for saving money at Halloween
1. Prepare for next year - of course it's too late now, but check Halloween stores and local drugstores the day after Halloween and stock up on accessories that don't go out of style like face makeup, vampire teeth, and cobweb netting. The discounts are often as much as 90%. Garage sales also net very, very cheap Halloween costumes if you're willing to grab them when you see them.
2. Start early - It is easy to sometimes make your own, but never a good idea to start looking for good budget ideas on October 30th.
3. Look for ideas that don't tie to specific characters. It's hard to make something look like a real good knock-off of Mickey Mouse.
4. Try community sites for previously used Halloween outfits, especially in kids' sizes.
5. Involve your child - ask them what they want to be and use items your kids are already interested in. If you have football or soccer outfits, use them. This is simple and might be easier to sell to your child rather than trying to imitate what they have seen on TV.
6. Take a trip to thrift store and consider these favorites:
• Old prom dresses, along with blood for a "Carrie" costume, or for Beauty Pageant misfits
• Bridal gowns for "Bride of Frankenstein" or cut down as princess dresses
• Old tuxedos for crazy French waiters
• Retro outfits
7. Consider these cheap and easy costumes:
• Wrap a sheet and you have a mummy or a toga costume
• Safety pin odd clothing items to a single colored ensemble and go as "static cling."
• Wrap a red blanket around a child, put on a big cross or other medallion and go as a medieval crusader
• Eye patch, red turtleneck, blue jeans and a red bandana for a pirate
• Attach Smarties to your child's pants with packing tape to create a "smartie(s) pants" costume (familyfun.com idea)
8. Consult websites for ideas. Two of our favorites are:
• coolest-homemade-costumes.com - idea sharing site
• familyfun.com (even a category for last minute ideas)
There are plenty of ideas without the need for a glue gun or sewing machine. Even if you feel you aren't very creative, the websites listed above have lots of ideas of things you can put together mostly using items you have at home.
Halloween doesn't have to be expensive and can be a lot of fun, probably more so, if you use a little imagination rather than buying something off the rack at the store.
1. Prepare for next year - of course it's too late now, but check Halloween stores and local drugstores the day after Halloween and stock up on accessories that don't go out of style like face makeup, vampire teeth, and cobweb netting. The discounts are often as much as 90%. Garage sales also net very, very cheap Halloween costumes if you're willing to grab them when you see them.
2. Start early - It is easy to sometimes make your own, but never a good idea to start looking for good budget ideas on October 30th.
3. Look for ideas that don't tie to specific characters. It's hard to make something look like a real good knock-off of Mickey Mouse.
4. Try community sites for previously used Halloween outfits, especially in kids' sizes.
5. Involve your child - ask them what they want to be and use items your kids are already interested in. If you have football or soccer outfits, use them. This is simple and might be easier to sell to your child rather than trying to imitate what they have seen on TV.
6. Take a trip to thrift store and consider these favorites:
• Old prom dresses, along with blood for a "Carrie" costume, or for Beauty Pageant misfits
• Bridal gowns for "Bride of Frankenstein" or cut down as princess dresses
• Old tuxedos for crazy French waiters
• Retro outfits
7. Consider these cheap and easy costumes:
• Wrap a sheet and you have a mummy or a toga costume
• Safety pin odd clothing items to a single colored ensemble and go as "static cling."
• Wrap a red blanket around a child, put on a big cross or other medallion and go as a medieval crusader
• Eye patch, red turtleneck, blue jeans and a red bandana for a pirate
• Attach Smarties to your child's pants with packing tape to create a "smartie(s) pants" costume (familyfun.com idea)
8. Consult websites for ideas. Two of our favorites are:
• coolest-homemade-costumes.com - idea sharing site
• familyfun.com (even a category for last minute ideas)
There are plenty of ideas without the need for a glue gun or sewing machine. Even if you feel you aren't very creative, the websites listed above have lots of ideas of things you can put together mostly using items you have at home.
Halloween doesn't have to be expensive and can be a lot of fun, probably more so, if you use a little imagination rather than buying something off the rack at the store.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Travel During Spouse's Pregnancy - Tips For Men
If you intend to travel with your spouse during her pregnancy, the second trimester is a good time to plan the trip. As her pregnancy advances, and later once your child is born, it will be more difficult to do so.
Here are some tips on traveling with your pregnant spouse:
• Discuss your travel plans with your spouse's doctor.
• Check to see if your travel insurance policy includes pregnancy.
• Find out whether your chosen destination requires compliance with any immunization procedures, and if so, whether these are safe during pregnancy.
• Carry medications for pregnancy related problems such as heartburn, constipation, or skin complaints in your medical kit. Include this in your carry-on luggage while flying.
• Always carry drinking water with you. Ensure that your spouse drinks adequate amount of water to prevent dehydration.
• If your holiday involves any strenuous or sporting activity, check with your doctor about whether these are safe during pregnancy.
These are some tips specific to flying with your pregnant spouse:
• Check with her doctor if there are any flying risks specific to your spouse's pregnancy.
• Find out if the airline has any special requirements for pregnant travelers, for instance, a doctor's note.
• Try to book a seat with some extra leg space, especially if it is a long flight.
• Ask your partner to wear the seat belt under her abdomen, across the lap.
• Remind her to stretch and move her legs frequently while seated during a long flight.
Here are some tips on traveling with your pregnant spouse:
• Discuss your travel plans with your spouse's doctor.
• Check to see if your travel insurance policy includes pregnancy.
• Find out whether your chosen destination requires compliance with any immunization procedures, and if so, whether these are safe during pregnancy.
• Carry medications for pregnancy related problems such as heartburn, constipation, or skin complaints in your medical kit. Include this in your carry-on luggage while flying.
• Always carry drinking water with you. Ensure that your spouse drinks adequate amount of water to prevent dehydration.
• If your holiday involves any strenuous or sporting activity, check with your doctor about whether these are safe during pregnancy.
These are some tips specific to flying with your pregnant spouse:
• Check with her doctor if there are any flying risks specific to your spouse's pregnancy.
• Find out if the airline has any special requirements for pregnant travelers, for instance, a doctor's note.
• Try to book a seat with some extra leg space, especially if it is a long flight.
• Ask your partner to wear the seat belt under her abdomen, across the lap.
• Remind her to stretch and move her legs frequently while seated during a long flight.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Fathers and Sons Bond Over Fantasy Football
Sports have always united dads and their kids, but fantasy baseball and football leagues are offering a new form of father and son bonding.
The Wall Street Journal spoke to Austin Metzger of Rochester, New York, and his dad Ken, two keen fantasy league fans. They explained that ten-year-old Austin joined his father's league after another member left and went on to win both the football and the baseball league, taking home $275 in cash.
And they are not alone - according to the article, "father-son pairs are now discovering that fantasy sports can be as powerful a bonding experience as tossing a ball around the backyard".
David Miller, the owner of FamilyFantasySports.com, told the newspaper that his site offers a $25,000 deposit in a 529 account for the college education of the children of the owner of the fantasy team that scores the most points in their league's championship football game this season, adding to the family element.
His parenting advice was: "It's really just about spending time with your kids."
With the biggest sporting event in the world starting today, dads may want to look at one of the lesser-known leagues: fantasy Olympics.
The Wall Street Journal spoke to Austin Metzger of Rochester, New York, and his dad Ken, two keen fantasy league fans. They explained that ten-year-old Austin joined his father's league after another member left and went on to win both the football and the baseball league, taking home $275 in cash.
And they are not alone - according to the article, "father-son pairs are now discovering that fantasy sports can be as powerful a bonding experience as tossing a ball around the backyard".
David Miller, the owner of FamilyFantasySports.com, told the newspaper that his site offers a $25,000 deposit in a 529 account for the college education of the children of the owner of the fantasy team that scores the most points in their league's championship football game this season, adding to the family element.
His parenting advice was: "It's really just about spending time with your kids."
With the biggest sporting event in the world starting today, dads may want to look at one of the lesser-known leagues: fantasy Olympics.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Divorced Dads - Dealing With Broken Home
The thought of what has happened interrupts you seven times a day. You have lost everything you helped build, all sense of love and belonging in the world. The crisis has left in its wake the disorganization of your instincts and ideas.
Every divorced dad has to carry his own grief and try to begin a new life again in the world. Remember that you are still a father. Taking care of your children during this crisis is your first priority. It's the only way to break the inertia. It's the only way to get back in control of your life, take responsibility and start fixing that broken heart, that broken home.
It is time to get help:
• Along with the correct legal advice, consider seeing a family therapist or psychologist.
• Coping isn't easy. Feelings of rage and vindication can overwhelm you at this time. Be aware that these feelings are normal, but acting on them is not.
• You need to talk it out-with friends, a support group or with a therapist. Newly divorced dads often find this helpful to regain a sense of control over their situation.
• Remember that it takes time to get back to what will pass for "normal", given your new situation. Set realistic expectations for how long it will take to get back on track.
It takes a lot of sanity to make the right decision when it comes to deciding the fate of your fatherhood after divorce. That is exactly what is at stake in the situation.
Knowing your rights as a father is the first positive step towards understanding your legal position. Once you have familiarized yourself with the legal basics, you can decide on the individual merits of your case with the help of your lawyer:
• If you feel the divorce is "not your fault" or if your spouse is an incompetent parent, you may choose to sue for sole custody. However, this may involve unnecessary separations and prolonged battles with your family, and resulting alienation and resentment among your children.
• You may decide to negotiate for joint custody and generous visitation rights-decisions which go a long way in repairing the damage of divorce and gives time to everyone to deal rationally with each other.
You may find that a commitment towards creating conditions for a stable environment for your children is more important than taking revenge on your spouse for the divorce. Divorced dads have a lot to prove since they will likely take at least half the blame for the break up of the family.
Every divorced dad has to carry his own grief and try to begin a new life again in the world. Remember that you are still a father. Taking care of your children during this crisis is your first priority. It's the only way to break the inertia. It's the only way to get back in control of your life, take responsibility and start fixing that broken heart, that broken home.
It is time to get help:
• Along with the correct legal advice, consider seeing a family therapist or psychologist.
• Coping isn't easy. Feelings of rage and vindication can overwhelm you at this time. Be aware that these feelings are normal, but acting on them is not.
• You need to talk it out-with friends, a support group or with a therapist. Newly divorced dads often find this helpful to regain a sense of control over their situation.
• Remember that it takes time to get back to what will pass for "normal", given your new situation. Set realistic expectations for how long it will take to get back on track.
It takes a lot of sanity to make the right decision when it comes to deciding the fate of your fatherhood after divorce. That is exactly what is at stake in the situation.
Knowing your rights as a father is the first positive step towards understanding your legal position. Once you have familiarized yourself with the legal basics, you can decide on the individual merits of your case with the help of your lawyer:
• If you feel the divorce is "not your fault" or if your spouse is an incompetent parent, you may choose to sue for sole custody. However, this may involve unnecessary separations and prolonged battles with your family, and resulting alienation and resentment among your children.
• You may decide to negotiate for joint custody and generous visitation rights-decisions which go a long way in repairing the damage of divorce and gives time to everyone to deal rationally with each other.
You may find that a commitment towards creating conditions for a stable environment for your children is more important than taking revenge on your spouse for the divorce. Divorced dads have a lot to prove since they will likely take at least half the blame for the break up of the family.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Make Your Own Halloween Masks
With Halloween right around the corner, specialty stores are stocking their shelves with costumes and masks for adults and children. This year, instead of spending money on buying Halloween masks which your child will likely rip or lose by the end of the evening, why don't you considering making homemade Halloween masks? Put on your creative hat and get cracking because here is an easy method for creating Halloween masks for your little trick-or-treater.
The Supplies
Large paper bag (such as from a supermarket)
Colored construction paper
Black marker
Pencil
Scissors
Glue
Miscellaneous decorations (depending on the theme of mask)
The Process
Step 1
The first step is to make sure that the Halloween masks fit the faces of the people who are going to wear them. If you are creating one for your child, start by gently pulling the paper bag over your child's face and press it against his features. Make note of where his eyes, nose, and mouth are by lightly marking their outline on the bag in pencil.
Step 2
The next step for making Halloween masks is to use scissors to cut out the areas where the eyes, nose, and mouth should be, as per the markings you made earlier. If necessary, fold the paper to help you create symmetrical shapes when cutting. Don't press down too firmly though as you will create a noticeable crease on the mask.
Step 3
Pick a design. Does your child want to be a specific character? An animal? A goblin? Use the black marker and miscellaneous decorations to add the appropriate details. Create contrasting color patterns and other features using the colored construction paper.
Step 4
If you use glue to attach any materials, leave the mask in a place to dry where it will not be disturbed. After all your hard work you want to make sure the mask is in good shape for the main event.
Step 5
Come October 31, put on your Halloween masks and go trick-or-treating!
You can turn any home into a haunted house for Halloween by adding the right Halloween decorations. Here are simple do-it-yourself suggestions for Halloween decorations that you, your family, and the neighbors will enjoy this fall.
The Supplies
Large paper bag (such as from a supermarket)
Colored construction paper
Black marker
Pencil
Scissors
Glue
Miscellaneous decorations (depending on the theme of mask)
The Process
Step 1
The first step is to make sure that the Halloween masks fit the faces of the people who are going to wear them. If you are creating one for your child, start by gently pulling the paper bag over your child's face and press it against his features. Make note of where his eyes, nose, and mouth are by lightly marking their outline on the bag in pencil.
Step 2
The next step for making Halloween masks is to use scissors to cut out the areas where the eyes, nose, and mouth should be, as per the markings you made earlier. If necessary, fold the paper to help you create symmetrical shapes when cutting. Don't press down too firmly though as you will create a noticeable crease on the mask.
Step 3
Pick a design. Does your child want to be a specific character? An animal? A goblin? Use the black marker and miscellaneous decorations to add the appropriate details. Create contrasting color patterns and other features using the colored construction paper.
Step 4
If you use glue to attach any materials, leave the mask in a place to dry where it will not be disturbed. After all your hard work you want to make sure the mask is in good shape for the main event.
Step 5
Come October 31, put on your Halloween masks and go trick-or-treating!
You can turn any home into a haunted house for Halloween by adding the right Halloween decorations. Here are simple do-it-yourself suggestions for Halloween decorations that you, your family, and the neighbors will enjoy this fall.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Praising your Toddlers
Shaping a child's behavior is a challenging area where parents inevitably make mistakes. By our very nature, many dads prefer to approach this delicate task armed to the teeth with warnings limitations and the promise of repercussions. However, education professionals now believe that enforcing discipline in a positive manner will go a long way toward the balanced development of your child.
Praise is a contentious value of our times. Some are sure that children will be spoiled by praise. However, as a parent, you will be surprised by the flowering of peace and good manners in your home if you practice praise rather protest.
The following suggestions are likely to help you positively discipline your toddler and achieve the best practical results:
• Praise your toddlers constructively: Children are always trying to win attention and encouragement from their forbears. And they deserve both. But it is important that your responses as a parent point to the specific event for which the child is being praised. For example, when your children start eating with a spoon or learn to go potty on their own, they should be praised for doing so. "What a big girl you are. Eating on your own!" This is exactly how a developmental advance registers at the level of a child's personality.
• Be Authentic: Too often there is a mechanical tone that slips into a parent's daily vocabulary when dealing with their children. There must be a genuine and enthused feel that should be felt generously through every communication, especially praise.
• Avoid criticisms: Parents should avoid the temptation of readily criticizing their children as they are likely to undermine their children's confidence. Often, parents shame their children, contradict their praises and end up confusing the child. Example: "That's a good boy, but no more mischief please."
• Remember that kids (at least all the ones we know) are not intrinsically evil. They are learning from your cues and signals. And, at the early ages, they don't understand scoldings and can become frightened instead by your behavior. With small children, always try to imagine their perspective, from two feet off the ground, unable to guage time, and without a clearly developed sense of right and wrong, that they can only learn from you. Sometimes, it's just best to repeat to yourself, "He's only a little kid…"
Here are a few quick ways by which you can clearly communicate praise to your toddlers:
• Looking into their eyes and smiling
• Gently touching them
• Applauding them enthusiastically
• Kissing and hugging them
• Giving them a 'Thumb's Up'
Praise is a contentious value of our times. Some are sure that children will be spoiled by praise. However, as a parent, you will be surprised by the flowering of peace and good manners in your home if you practice praise rather protest.
The following suggestions are likely to help you positively discipline your toddler and achieve the best practical results:
• Praise your toddlers constructively: Children are always trying to win attention and encouragement from their forbears. And they deserve both. But it is important that your responses as a parent point to the specific event for which the child is being praised. For example, when your children start eating with a spoon or learn to go potty on their own, they should be praised for doing so. "What a big girl you are. Eating on your own!" This is exactly how a developmental advance registers at the level of a child's personality.
• Be Authentic: Too often there is a mechanical tone that slips into a parent's daily vocabulary when dealing with their children. There must be a genuine and enthused feel that should be felt generously through every communication, especially praise.
• Avoid criticisms: Parents should avoid the temptation of readily criticizing their children as they are likely to undermine their children's confidence. Often, parents shame their children, contradict their praises and end up confusing the child. Example: "That's a good boy, but no more mischief please."
• Remember that kids (at least all the ones we know) are not intrinsically evil. They are learning from your cues and signals. And, at the early ages, they don't understand scoldings and can become frightened instead by your behavior. With small children, always try to imagine their perspective, from two feet off the ground, unable to guage time, and without a clearly developed sense of right and wrong, that they can only learn from you. Sometimes, it's just best to repeat to yourself, "He's only a little kid…"
Here are a few quick ways by which you can clearly communicate praise to your toddlers:
• Looking into their eyes and smiling
• Gently touching them
• Applauding them enthusiastically
• Kissing and hugging them
• Giving them a 'Thumb's Up'
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Celebrating Thanksgiving with Your Kids
Thanksgiving is an American tradition that truly celebrates family - a time in the year when relatives and friends get together and exchange notes on what's gone by. But what does Thanksgiving mean to your kids?
While they look forward to meeting their favorite uncles and aunts, maybe even receiving gifts from them, Thanksgiving has no special activity that caters exclusively to them. A whole lot of adults meeting to catch up on the family news, over an elaborate dinner, is hardly something to excite kids, so that they are largely left to themselves, and may end up feeling a bit left out.
As a dad you can help your kids by explaining the meaning of Thanksgiving. Knowing about it and what it stands for will help them appreciate the essence of this celebration.
Getting children to help with preparing the Thanksgiving dinner could be another way to make them feel included. Not only does it make them feel responsible, they'll look forward to the event of the actual dinner much more if they've had a role to play in its preparation.
While they look forward to meeting their favorite uncles and aunts, maybe even receiving gifts from them, Thanksgiving has no special activity that caters exclusively to them. A whole lot of adults meeting to catch up on the family news, over an elaborate dinner, is hardly something to excite kids, so that they are largely left to themselves, and may end up feeling a bit left out.
As a dad you can help your kids by explaining the meaning of Thanksgiving. Knowing about it and what it stands for will help them appreciate the essence of this celebration.
Getting children to help with preparing the Thanksgiving dinner could be another way to make them feel included. Not only does it make them feel responsible, they'll look forward to the event of the actual dinner much more if they've had a role to play in its preparation.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Stay-At-Home Dads Face a Challenge
According to 2006 data from US Census Bureau, there were 143,000 stay-at-home dads on Father's Day two years ago, not including single parents, compared to 5.6 million stay-at-home moms.
That number has grown slightly in the last few years, the Associated Press reports, but then so has the number of moms.
Dads can decide to act as the primary carer for their children for a number of reasons, including finances, wanting to bond or because of single parenting.
However, the preponderance of mothers at nurseries, playgrounds and social events such as children's parties can make it an isolating and lonely experience for men.
The Associated Press spoke to Mike Biewenga, a stay-at-home dad for the last four years, who noticed that moms would sit further away from him during visits to a reading group at a local library.
"There was a gap, then me, then a gap, then the rest of the circle … I mean, I shave, I comb my hair. I'm a normal-looking guy," he said.
Groups and websites have now been formed to help stay at home dads with their kids to network and share their stories, while moms are getting more used to seeing guys in the playground during the week.
And with increasing work pressures, the role of a stay at home day is becoming ever-more valuable.
A recent study from British children's charity the NSPCC found that 59 percent of fathers questioned believe their careers keep them away from their sons and daughters.
Stay-at-home fathers are still a rarity in the US compared to their female counterparts, but it is a growing trend both among single dads and those in a relationship.
That number has grown slightly in the last few years, the Associated Press reports, but then so has the number of moms.
Dads can decide to act as the primary carer for their children for a number of reasons, including finances, wanting to bond or because of single parenting.
However, the preponderance of mothers at nurseries, playgrounds and social events such as children's parties can make it an isolating and lonely experience for men.
The Associated Press spoke to Mike Biewenga, a stay-at-home dad for the last four years, who noticed that moms would sit further away from him during visits to a reading group at a local library.
"There was a gap, then me, then a gap, then the rest of the circle … I mean, I shave, I comb my hair. I'm a normal-looking guy," he said.
Groups and websites have now been formed to help stay at home dads with their kids to network and share their stories, while moms are getting more used to seeing guys in the playground during the week.
And with increasing work pressures, the role of a stay at home day is becoming ever-more valuable.
A recent study from British children's charity the NSPCC found that 59 percent of fathers questioned believe their careers keep them away from their sons and daughters.
Stay-at-home fathers are still a rarity in the US compared to their female counterparts, but it is a growing trend both among single dads and those in a relationship.
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