Moms and dads are usually considered to have inherently different sets of parenting skills.
Traditionally it has been thought that women are better at multi-tasking, remembering how their offspring like their packed lunches or when their swimming club is, while men are supposedly more adept at playing with their kids.
Although that is beginning to change as more dads stay at home to look after their children, generally the roles simply reverse.
However, there is now a new trend emerging for parents to be partners in raising their children, working equal hours, taking equal responsibility for the home and spending equal time with their kids.
The New York Times reported on this phenomenon earlier this week. It spoke to Jessica DeGroot, founder of the ThirdPath Institute, who said: "Women entering the work force changed the work force far more dramatically than it changed things back home."
Parenting skills and responsibilities are still divided in American homes even if the mother goes to work, as are household duties. Recent figures from the University of Wisconsin show that in households where both adults work, the wife does 28 hours of housework while the husband does 16.
In a bid to change this unfair dynamic some couples are forging a different path, embracing equal parenting in a bid to share the load.
It may not work for anyone, but this is likely to be a growing trend among modern families, particularly as a recent survey suggested that many American dads would be willing to take a pay cut in order to spend more time with their children.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Independent International Adoption - Four Things to Know
International adoption remains an increasingly popular alternative for hopeful parents despite its complexity. When considering international adoption you can either choose an agency-initiated path or independent adoption, where you handle the details yourselves. Here are four facts to keep in mind when considering if independent international adoption is right for you and your family.
1: You are on your own.
In an independent international adoption, the heavy lifting is the sole responsibility of the parents since there is no agency offering guidance or expertise. Interested parents need to request a home study from a licensed adoption agency or a local social worker. After this step, you would work independently to acquire the required documents in your home country (for the U.S., the Citizenship and Immigration Service or USCIS, formerly the INS) and for the foreign judicial system where you are seeking to adopt a child.
You will also need to find a lawyer or agency in that country that will connect you with a child and then take the trip to obtain responsibility for the child and the corresponding documentation for the adoption, passport, and visa.
2: You have to work across cultures.
If you are interested in independent international adoption, you must be patient and flexible when navigating the legal system of another country. You need to become familiar with the regulations for the governmental and adoption agencies involved in the process. The key is to be informed and research the countries you are considering and their adoption practices to determine the best match for you.
3: There are more risks involved.
When dealing with an adoption outside the United States, there are more unknown factors and therefore more prospective dangers. If you are not working directly with a recognized licensed agency then you may face the possibility of working with a local lawyer or missionary who will find you a child but not be able to obtain the necessary documents needed for the international adoption to be considered legal.
Other possible hazards include potential - although unintended - involvement in the illegal adoption market, the falsification of the child’s medical and personal documents, a breach of the confidentiality of your medical and personal information, and the loss of money in an adoption scam.
4: The restrictions are tightening.
Many countries are keeping a closer watch on their international adoption policies. The result is that it has become harder to adopt a child abroad. In 2006, China was the most popular country for U.S. foreign adoptions. As a response to the increased interest, in May 2007, China imposed restrictive policies for the profile of potential adoptive families. The laws and regulations for independent international adoption are evolving so do your part to know what’s current in the countries where you are considering adoption.
1: You are on your own.
In an independent international adoption, the heavy lifting is the sole responsibility of the parents since there is no agency offering guidance or expertise. Interested parents need to request a home study from a licensed adoption agency or a local social worker. After this step, you would work independently to acquire the required documents in your home country (for the U.S., the Citizenship and Immigration Service or USCIS, formerly the INS) and for the foreign judicial system where you are seeking to adopt a child.
You will also need to find a lawyer or agency in that country that will connect you with a child and then take the trip to obtain responsibility for the child and the corresponding documentation for the adoption, passport, and visa.
2: You have to work across cultures.
If you are interested in independent international adoption, you must be patient and flexible when navigating the legal system of another country. You need to become familiar with the regulations for the governmental and adoption agencies involved in the process. The key is to be informed and research the countries you are considering and their adoption practices to determine the best match for you.
3: There are more risks involved.
When dealing with an adoption outside the United States, there are more unknown factors and therefore more prospective dangers. If you are not working directly with a recognized licensed agency then you may face the possibility of working with a local lawyer or missionary who will find you a child but not be able to obtain the necessary documents needed for the international adoption to be considered legal.
Other possible hazards include potential - although unintended - involvement in the illegal adoption market, the falsification of the child’s medical and personal documents, a breach of the confidentiality of your medical and personal information, and the loss of money in an adoption scam.
4: The restrictions are tightening.
Many countries are keeping a closer watch on their international adoption policies. The result is that it has become harder to adopt a child abroad. In 2006, China was the most popular country for U.S. foreign adoptions. As a response to the increased interest, in May 2007, China imposed restrictive policies for the profile of potential adoptive families. The laws and regulations for independent international adoption are evolving so do your part to know what’s current in the countries where you are considering adoption.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Dad Site - Because Dads Don’t Always Think Like Moms
Try this. Search 'parenting' in any search engine and you'll be surprised to see that almost all the results featuring websites created for moms. Not only is the shortage of good information on dads frustrating, but also the status quo for dad sites is not the same. The fact is that most parenting websites conveniently ignore dads.
Feeding this is the stereotype that dads are always "away, earning the bread" while moms play the all-important role of nurturing kids. Thankfully, with changing times, terms like 'stay-at-home-dad', 'gay dad', 'single dad' don't attract puzzled stares that would have been the case just a few decades back.
Why a Dad Site
Dads are as important as moms in the lives of their children. According to research, children with little or no contact with their fathers are more likely to drop out of school and become involved in drug, alcohol abuse, crime, and violence. Even many fathers who are around their children are not emotionally present.
Dads' parenting style is quite different from moms. One is not better than the other. In fact, research has revealed that kids develop more completely when the parenting styles of dads and moms complement each other. It is important to understand that fathers parent differently because dads don't always think like moms.
What most dads need is a single place to discuss parenting issues and experiences with each other and improve their parenting skills. That's where a good dad site comes in. A good parenting website built by and for men can help them become the dads their children desperately need.
Dad Site for the New Age Dad
Clearly, men are from Mars which is why most parenting issues are alien to them. The new age dad is now grappling with new terms like ectopic pregnancy and pregnancy calculator that his forbears would have been careful about discussing in public. Considering this shift in attitude, a dad site needs to cater to common but embarrassing questions such as "is sex during pregnancy bad?" and also provide fathers with information on how to deal with the overwhelming experience of being a father.
As Paul Banas, founder of GreatDad, points out, "Many dads today are more involved in parenting but have limited resources from a man's point of view from which to better understand the challenges of their changing role." It was this thought that led Paul to start the only online parenting resource with a dad's point of view. In fact, GreatDad.com is the only dad site to offer a pregnancy newsletter for fathers.
Feeding this is the stereotype that dads are always "away, earning the bread" while moms play the all-important role of nurturing kids. Thankfully, with changing times, terms like 'stay-at-home-dad', 'gay dad', 'single dad' don't attract puzzled stares that would have been the case just a few decades back.
Why a Dad Site
Dads are as important as moms in the lives of their children. According to research, children with little or no contact with their fathers are more likely to drop out of school and become involved in drug, alcohol abuse, crime, and violence. Even many fathers who are around their children are not emotionally present.
Dads' parenting style is quite different from moms. One is not better than the other. In fact, research has revealed that kids develop more completely when the parenting styles of dads and moms complement each other. It is important to understand that fathers parent differently because dads don't always think like moms.
What most dads need is a single place to discuss parenting issues and experiences with each other and improve their parenting skills. That's where a good dad site comes in. A good parenting website built by and for men can help them become the dads their children desperately need.
Dad Site for the New Age Dad
Clearly, men are from Mars which is why most parenting issues are alien to them. The new age dad is now grappling with new terms like ectopic pregnancy and pregnancy calculator that his forbears would have been careful about discussing in public. Considering this shift in attitude, a dad site needs to cater to common but embarrassing questions such as "is sex during pregnancy bad?" and also provide fathers with information on how to deal with the overwhelming experience of being a father.
As Paul Banas, founder of GreatDad, points out, "Many dads today are more involved in parenting but have limited resources from a man's point of view from which to better understand the challenges of their changing role." It was this thought that led Paul to start the only online parenting resource with a dad's point of view. In fact, GreatDad.com is the only dad site to offer a pregnancy newsletter for fathers.
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