Thumb sucking in babies

Most babies and young children tend to suck their thumbs. While you may be concerned about your child’s habit, it is actually quite harmless.

Here are a few facts about thumb sucking:

• Babies are born with the urge to suck their thumbs.


• It is a natural reflex on their part.


• It helps them relieve stress and remain calm.


• It leads to the release of endorphins, which cause the baby to experience feelings of pleasure.


• Thumb sucking does not really lead to prominent teeth, except in children who are growing permanent teeth.


• Thumb sucking does not cause improper growth of the thumb.


• Thumb sucking children are not mentally deficient, emotionally insecure, or maladjusted.


• Generally, children give up sucking their thumbs by about 2–3 years of age. A few children, however, do continue to do so beyond the age of four years.

Many parents opt for a pacifier early on, which takes the place of the thumb. While less immediately practical (you have to buy, wash, find and replace them), they do have the advantage of making it easier to break the sucking habit at the appropriate time (either at 3-4 months or at 18 months) by just taking the pacifier away. Thumbsuckers sometimes do not break the habit until they are three, four, or even five years old.

While encouraging older children to give up sucking their thumbs, remember to:

• Provide your child with an alternative means of coping with stress.


• Avoid pulling the thumb out of your child’s mouth.


• Avoid criticizing the child about thumb sucking.


• Identify events that prompt your child to indulge in thumb sucking and deal with them appropriately.

Smart Ways to Deal with a Dirty Diaper While Out Shopping

It is a scenario dreaded by most new dads. You are out, maybe enjoying a nice afternoon’s shopping with your baby and your baby chooses just this time to poop. You’ve been lucky up until now and you’ve either avoided the task entirely or only had to make the change in the baby nursery with all the accoutrements around you.

When the baby goes, many a dad will pause for a minute and wonder whether you couldn’t’ just ignore it for a half an hour, or the time to get home. However, pooping a diaper and wetting a diaper are two very different things. If the baby is crying due to a dirty diaper, that screaming will only get louder and more insistent. You need to take action fast. Here are some tips if you’re never been caught with a diaper emergency outside of the house.

• First of all, never leave the house for more than five minutes without carrying a spare diaper. Babies have an instinct about pooping at the worst times. If you are out and really can’t either buy diapers or get home quickly, you have no choice but to admit you’re a horrible, lousy excuse for a father and find a mom to ask for a spare. She’ll probably smile patronizingly at you and you’ll have to suck it up to get the goods. Dads also have been known to wipe the baby thoroughly with toilet paper and then wipe again with wetted tissue and stuff the baby back into her clothes minus a diaper. This is a recipe for another wet disaster, but can be used in a pinch. Better a wet baby than a dirty baby.


• Keep an extra changing pad in the car or your bag. Believe me, you do not want to set your baby out on a dirty restroom floor or risk getting poop all over another surface, like your car upholstery or carpet. Baby poop smells and is hard to clean.


• Locate a place where you can easily do what is required. Large stores often have changing stations equipped for you to do the job. Otherwise, locate a baby section or store where the staff and other shoppers are not likely to raise eyebrows if you settle yourself in their midst to change your baby’s diaper.


• If you have a stroller, use it to lay your baby in to change the diaper.


• You can also use the back seat in your car or the back of a station wagon to lay your baby down while you change the diaper.


• Carry a zip lock bag to store the dirty diaper before you can discard it.

Know the Toddler Phase

The toddler phase in a child’s life can be sharply marked by an increasing need to assert its independence. This will be a time fraught with challenges for you, as you try to support your toddlers’ impulses to explore his environment, while also safeguarding them from any harm.

If the battle to assert your authority may sometimes lead to frayed nerves or tempers on your part, be sure that you will also be rewarded by the development of a new and complex level of interaction between your child and yourself. The toddler phase can indeed be very demanding, especially at the initial stage of the phase.

Here are some ways in which you can encourage and extend your support during this difficult and yet essential and interesting phase in your child’s life:

• Let your toddlers explore within a limit: It is the parent’s task to set acceptable limits and as long as your toddlers do not cross those limits, allow complete freedom to explore. Your toddlers will learn to appreciate this and broaden their horizons through the use of their newfound curiosities.


• Honor and appreciate the choices made by your toddler as long as they do not harm anyone.


• Be calm and composed: Do not get irritated by your toddler’s tendency to refuse or rebel. This is actually a good sign to tell you that your toddler is developing a mind of his or her own.


• Do not neglect your toddler’s urge to play: Get your child various types of games appropriate for a toddler’s age. Your toddlers will learn important things in the process of enjoying the games such as eye-hand coordination, an understanding of logical sequences in events etc.

Also read this Useful article for single parents.

Is it Normal for Your Baby to Suddenly Develop Shyness?

Shyness is a normal response seen in infants to an overwhelming social experience. Such children may or may not retain this behavior for life. Remember that shyness is not abnormal and is a phase of the development process. Ensure that your baby is not experiencing severe discomfort or fear in new situations.

Causes

While there is no known cause for shyness in babies, several possible explanations exist that include:

• Some researchers believe shyness may be an inherited behavior. However, at the same time, children are likely to adopt behaviors seen in their parents, biological or not.


• The temporary withdrawal seen in children is a defense mechanism that helps them to gain a sense of control over their surroundings, especially in new situations such as a party with bright lights and many people talking loudly at the same time.


• Nature provides babies with a natural wariness of strangers. Babies start recognizing faces early in life, and feel comfortable with the familiar faces of their parents.


• Some children are naturally shy, and do not enjoy being the center of attention.

Helping the shy baby

Here are some ways to help your shy baby ‘come out’:

• Children learn by example. Appear outgoing and confident when your child is watching.


• Socialize your kids with as many people as possible right from an early age in different situations.


• Use positive association methods. Do not criticize, yell, or shout if your child refuses to play with somebody. Smile when your baby agrees to be held by a trusted person you know well.


• Do not force children to do something they do not like, as it will only reinforce shy behavior.


• Make playtime fun and encourage your baby to play with other kids. Use your children's favorite toys and objects to lure them into interacting with other people.

Moving is the Best Exercise for Babies

We know that exercise is important for our health as adults, but did you know that the same philosophy applies to babies? It is recommended that babies should work their muscles at least half-hour each day, although not necessarily all at once. Here are basic exercises that you can do with your baby, to stretch and tone the muscles:

Stretching

With your baby on his tummy, roll a ball in his direction so he has to extend his arms to grasp the ball and then roll it back to you. Alternately, you could sit facing each other with your feet bottoms touching and roll the ball back and forth, stretching in the process.

Standing

If your baby is trying to stand, encourage him by making him want to move towards you. Make sure you do this within the safety of a crib or on well-padded baby bedding. Play with a toy to get his attention and then re-position yourself on the other side of the crib or bed to get him to come to you. You can also make the stretching motion yourself and show him what it looks like when you stand up.

Crawling

Your infant's attempts to crawl are naturally going to help him exercise his little body since he will work hard to push himself forward with his arms and legs. Motivate him to move by clapping your hands and motioning your child to come towards you. You can also use a noise-making toy to grab his attention.

Jumping

Toddlers require a more advanced activity like jumping to help practice motor skills. You can make a line on your carpet using a folded piece of construction paper and help your baby hop from one side to the other. To add to the excitement, make up rhyming tunes as you go or listen to music.

Preparing Kids for the Challenges of the First Days of School

It’s hard to imagine what goes on in a little one’s mind when he goes to the big school, but you can help him overcome some fears by talking to him before hand.

For example, many kids at pre-school and even kindergarten level, are nervous about the bathroom. Reassure your child that he can ask to go any time. Some kids have accidents at school, and he should be aware that this type of thing can happen, and does happen to a lot of kids. If you have given him strict instructions on other people touching him in the bathroom, make sure he is aware of how changes in caregiving my change that policy, for example if a teacher has to wipe him. Some kids will time their bowel movements to avoid school time. Discuss this with your doctor if it becomes and issue.

Buy clothes for your child with easy closures. No child at this point wants to have to ask their teacher to help them button their pants. Just at the moment you are trying to teach them autonomy, don’t burden them suddenly with shoelaces that need to be tied by an adult.

School is an ideal time to teach about making friends. You don’t have to be a car salesman to know the value of walking right up to someone, pointing to something you have in common (your love of sand or the color of your tennis shoes) and introducing yourself. This is not a skill that comes easily, but kids can learn these skills to, especially if you show them how it works, by introducing yourself to other moms and dads.

Lunchtime might also be stressful, if your child has never had to eat on her own. Many kids get stressed at lunchtime because they don’t have the leisure to drag it out like they do at home. Make sure your child has items that are easy to manipulate on her own rather than complicated foods that need to be reheated and might be hard to eat.

Your child may be scared of other small details that don’t worry you at all. He might think the school nurse means lots of shots. Or the school bus looks like a big scary tunnel he might get lost in and never find his way back home. Explore and discuss things like this with your child by asking him about his likes and dislikes about the school.

With a very small amount of putting yourself in their shoes, you can easily take steps to ease into the transition to school.

Basic dining etiquette for little kids to learn

Quick ! You have 25 days to get the kids in shape to make a good presentation at Christmas dinner. Like a lot of stuff in parenting, consistency and patience are by-words and yes, you can teach a toddler few new tricks. Here are the basic etiquette skills little ones should have:

• “Please,” “Thank you” and “You’re welcome” are not optional. Repeat them over, invite your kids to correct you, and you’ll find by Christmas a pleasant and polite Pavlovian response.


• Eating with fingers is for babies, with the obvious exceptions ( pizza, ribs, chicken legs for example ). Little kids can use a fork, though you may have to help load it up from time to time. Resist the temptation to feed them and they will pick up this skill, leaving you free to get them another glass of milk.


• Kids need to ask to be excused to leave the table. Teaching kids not to run around during dinner is not that easy, but you’ll make it harder if you chase them around to get them to eat.


• Salt and pepper go together. Pass them together for a polished impression.


• Even little kids can and should use napkins, keep them on their laps, and learn to use them rather than wiping their hands on their pants.

You can make it easier for the kids by eating dinner in a room without distractions like TV, and make a rule not to allow toys or books while eating the family meal together.

Good luck and Bon appetit!

10 Ways to tell if your baby has allergies, and not just a cold

Many of the symptoms of nasal allergies (also known as allergic rhinitis) are similar to those of cold symptoms—runny nose, watery eyes, cough, nasal congestion, sneezing. Many times parents are confused on whether their child has a long-term cold or allergies.

Allergies are different though. Here are ten things to look for:

• Is your baby sneezing a lot?


• Does he have a dry cough, not coughing anything up?


• Are his eyes, red, watery, and itchy?


• Is his skin breaking out, irritated, or have an itchy red rash?


• Is your baby's nose always stuffy or running?


• Does it seem like your baby always has a cold? (Colds usually wind themselves down in a week to ten days; allergies don't.)


• Does your baby breathe through his mouth?


• Is your baby constantly rubbing, or touching her nose?


• Does your baby have thin and clear mucous draining from her nose (or is it think and yellow or green?)?


• Does it look like he or she has a black eye (“allergic shiner”) where the skin is dark or purple under her eyes.

If your baby has more than one of these symptoms, there is fairly good chance your baby is allergic to something in his or her environment. The most common culprit is dust mites, but there are many other allergies. Since common allergies are linked to ear infections and possibly asthma, it’s a good idea to discuss these symptoms with your doctor and eventually with an allergist who can easily test for more specific allergens.

Eating Unnatural or Inedible Substances - Harmful for your Child or not

Pica is an eating disorder relating to the consumption of non-nutritive substances. It’s common for children to put all sorts of things, from clay and dirt, to crayons, in their mouths. Usually, all it takes is a basic amount of parental supervision and instruction to keep the growing child from consuming unsuitable substances.
 
However, sometimes children develop an abnormal appetite for things such as dirt, paper, sand, rust, hair, baking soda, glue, wood-chips, and even cigarette butts. This pattern of compulsively eating non-food substances is known as pica. 25 to 30 percent of infants are diagnosed with pica disorders.
 
If you observe your child growing at a normal developmental pace, chances are that pica is just another habit for your child rather than a full blown disorder, but you should still be on the lookout for what your child is eating.
 
Whereas pica has no specific causes to which it can be attributed, it may be linked to any of the following:

• Developmental deficiencies


• Malnutrition


• Parental neglect


• Mental health disorders like autism


• Cultural habits

Lead poisoning and iron-deficiency anemia in children can result from pica disorders.
 
Preventions

• Keep infants under supervision when they are playing at beaches or in their favorite sandbox.


• Teach your children the difference between acceptable and non-acceptable foods.


• Keep household chemicals, drugs, and medications out of their reach.


• Give your children an organic based nutrition diet.


• Look out for signs of nervousness or boredom in your child.


• Check for nutritional deficits in your child’s body with your pediatrician.

A doctor can play an important role in handling pica.

• A pediatrician can diagnose zinc deficiency and other symptoms in your child.


• A doctor can administer behavioral therapy in case of pica disorders to help wean the child off harmful substances.

Useful Article: Child Development

Helping Your Kids and Family to Cut Down on Sugar and Sweets

Face it: the United States runs on sugar. This is not a good thing. A recent study in the International journal of Pediatric Obesity says that nearly half of American kids will be overweight by 2010. The current number is one-third. Here are some tips for cutting down on the sugar in your house.

1. Eliminate sodas. This means you too! This one change is like moving from a Hummer to a Prius, and will save you both calories and dollars. There really is very little good for you in a soda, and despite the “thirst-quenching” advertising message, sodas do a poor job of hydrating little active bodies.


2. Don’t be an all or nothing dictator. Kids need to learn that all things, including maybe even soda once in a blue moon, are okay in moderation. Completely eliminating everything “bad” might have the effect of making your kids lust after them even more.


3. Avoid processed foods and watch ingredients. The more you make on your own, or sweeten on your own terms, the better off you’ll be. Pre-sweetened anything isn’t really a time-saver anyway since adding sugar takes only a second. Also, check labels for sugar in places you don’t think it would be like. E.g. pizzas, bagels, and especially low-fat products which use sweetness to cover for the low fat content.


4. Allow your kids to make choices. Kids are amazingly wise if you let them decide between two things rather than giving in to both. They also understand that some things are better for them.


5. Big bowls mean big servings. Try serving ice cream in a little cup next time.


6. Look carefully into marketing messages. Not everything you read tells the true story. “Light” might be just in relationship to the “ultra-heavy” option.


7. Watch out for the “naturally sweet”. This is just sugar by another name.

Protecting your Child Against Poisoning

With toddlers in your home, poisoning is another potential danger you have to come to grips with. Their curiosity might induce them to ingest, or come in contact with, toxic substances that could be harmful to them.

You will be surprised to know that just about anything can be poisonous to your toddlers. Here is a simple checklist:

• Aspirin
  


• Lye
  


• Drain cleaning solvents
  


• Cosmetics
  


• Alcoholic beverages
  


• Moth balls
  


• Bleach
  


• Washing and cleaning liquids, soap bars, powders, etc.
  

To make your children aware of the dangers of ingesting unknown things, there are some simple thumb rules:

• Never call medicines or any bright-colored, small pellet, lozenge, etc. candy.


• Keep dangerous things out of your toddlers' reach; take into account the fact that they are adventurous explorers and terrific climbers.


• Make use of child-resistant locks, packages, etc. to stock the most dangerous things.
  

If any untoward incident were to happen, here are some signs that you need help:

• Your toddlers have difficulty breathing.


• They complain of severe throat pain or burning sensations


• You spot burns on their lips or mouth.


• Your children are experiencing convulsions, falling unconscious or are extremely sleepy.
  

In such a case, instant and immediate action could save your child. Always remember:

• Never try to induce vomiting. If a strong acidic substance has been ingested, throwing it up could further injure children by burning their throat and mouth


• In an emergency, call the American Association of Poison Control Centers at (800) 222-1222. You will be redirected to your local poison control center.

Useful Article: Child Development

Tips for Dads trying to cut down on Kids TV watching time

We like TV. After a long day at work, it’s like a frothy dessert at the end of a mediocre meal. It might not have any nutrition value, but it’s sweet and airy and enjoyable with very little effort.  However, when TV becomes the routine and more your reality than your real life, you or your kids might have a problem. 


How to know? Do you talk about TV characters’ lives as if they were your family or close friends? Do you miss important events because you can’t bear to miss the earliest episode of your favorite show rather than time-shifting to when it’s convenient?  Would your kids rather watch TV than go to the park or go swimming? Do your kids spend more than the two-hour daily-recommended maximum time in front of the tube? If so, here are a few tips to help you cut down based on a research study in November of 2006 by the Academy of Pediatrics.

• Keep track of TV watching so you really know how bad the problem is. Most people under-estimate how much they and their children watch. Remember to count the time the TV is on is “just on” in the background.


• Take the TV out of the kids’ bedrooms. Having a TV in the bedroom makes monitoring viewing habits more difficult, as well as actual time spent. Additionally, it promotes dual watching/studying.


• Ditto the dining room. Watching TV while eating ensure less communication within the family at a key time for family bonding.


• Set rules for TV watching on school nights. 


• Eliminate background TV.


• Take responsibility for finding other things for your kids to do rather than watch TV. This will be especially true immediately after you lower their consumption. After a while, however, you’ll be surprised how kids manage to find other things to do.  After all, kids have survived for millions more years without TV than with it.

Important Child Development Stages

Social and emotional development

Learning through play

Your baby tries to play with everything. And everything she plays with teaches her something new. She learns from toys, books and household items. She also learns from interactions with people.

If your baby has older brothers and sisters, she will watch to see how they play with toys. Your baby will want to play the same way. She imitates and copies what other people do.

If your baby is with another child of the same age, she will watch the other child. Sometimes she will copy that child’s play. The children may play side by side. But they probably won’t interact except to mimic one another.

Your baby will learn most from her interactions with you. Your patience and support will teach her independence. Your encouragement will help her learn that she is unique and has special skills. Your guidance and consistency will help her feel safe. In return, she will share her learning and success.

Language development

Working on words

Your 12-month-old is probably working hard on her language skills. She shows that she understands many words even though she can’t say them. This is called receptive language. For example, when you ask her to hand you a toy or point to a picture in a book, she can do it.

Continue to go slowly with requests. Break activities down into many parts. Your baby will be able to follow simple requests. For example, if you are looking at a picture book, don’t say, “Where are the farm animals?” Instead, say things like, “Point to the cow.” “Show me the pig.” “Do you see a chicken?” Give your baby time to think and respond before you move on to the next animal.

Expressive language—saying words—is developing, too. Your baby makes conversation-like noises, following your speech rhythm. She may say a few words clearly. She will point and gesture to help you understand the words she doesn’t pronounce well. Clearly say the word she is trying to use. She will try to imitate you. In time, her speech will become clear and easy to understand.

Remember your baby is working on many skills at the same time. For example, she may be putting a lot of energy into learning to walk. If so, her language development may slow down for a bit. Or she may be trying to get used to a new child-care center. If so, her physical and social skills may stall. Usually, with your support, all areas of development will level out. Remember, if you become worried that her development is delayed, talk to her doctor.

Did You Know? - Dads as parents

A father tends to:

• Bond with children in short bursts of connection, both physical and emotional ("short-touch" bonding, rough-and-tumble play).
• Focus on teaching children order, pattern thinking, and ritualized action, (Dads will tend to care less about the minutia of the child’s needs, but care more about larger structures and tools the child might need for future survival.)
• Downplay emotion, even at the risk of hurt feelings, in order to "up-play" performance. (Males are chemically and neurally directed toward immediate rewards from performance, and they prod children in this direction.)
• Promote risk taking and independence in the growing child. (Many moms promote independence, but in general, dads push children toward separation from caregivers and encourage them to "grow up!" faster than moms do.)
• Expect and enforce discipline and provide contests and tests of skill. (Dads tend to be more competitive than moms, especially in their assertion to children that being able to compete in tests of skill against others is the key to future success.)
• Teach the child to fight against personal and group vulnerability. (With less of the male brain's blood flow devoted to emotional processing than the female, fathers tend to deny any emotional vulnerability or try to problem-solve quickly to avoid such vulnerability.)
• Guide the child to sacrifice his or her own thinking in deference to "authority thinking" until the child has proven his or her own core nature to be mature enough to become authoritative. Although there are certainly exceptions to this, fathers tend to employ more authoritarian parenting styles than mothers and retain that authority well into the child’s adulthood, waiting for the child to prove himself (this generally applies more to sons) worthy of being respected as an adult.
• Direct the child’s search for self-worth toward the larger society (that is, encouraging less introspection and more immediate action).
• Try to help the child feel stronger in the long term even if the child does not feel better in the moment. Fathers tend to care less than mothers about whether a child "feels good." Fathers tend to want obvious shows of strength from children. This is especially true in their attitude toward sons.

- By Michael Gurian

Excerpted with permission of the publisher John Wiley & Sons, Inc. from NURTURE THE NATURE. Copyright (c) 2007 by Michael Gurian. This book is available at all bookstores, online booksellers and from the Wiley website at www.wiley.com, or call 1-800-225-5945.

Michael Gurian is a social philosopher, family therapist, corporate consultant, and the New York Times bestselling author of more than twenty books. A parenting and family expert, he is co-founder of The Gurian Institute, a training organization that provides schools, homes, workplaces and community agencies with crucial understanding of how boys and girls learn differently, and how women and men work and lead differently. Blending brain-based theory with practical application and cultural relevance, the Institute conducts research internationally, launches pilot and training programs, and trains professionals.

His groundbreaking books on child development and education that have sparked national debate include The Wonder of Boys, Boys and Girls Learn Differently!, The Wonder of Girls, and The Minds of Boys. He has pioneered efforts to bring neuro-biology and brain research into homes, workplaces, schools and public policy. A sought-after speaker and consultant, he lives with his wife and two daughters in Spokane, Washington.

Toddlers and Anemia

Anemia is a common blood disorder caused by a deficiency of red blood cells (RBCs) and is characterized by lack of vitality. It is estimated that around 7 percent of children in the United States experience anemia once by the age of 18 years. The most common cause of anemia in toddlers is iron deficiency.

Iron is important in the production of hemoglobin, which is a protein that primarily transports oxygen from the lungs to the different parts of the body. Iron also aids different brain functions. Insufficient intake of iron leads to a shortfall in hemoglobin production, leading to poor mental functioning and a feeling of tiredness.

Symptoms

The symptoms of anemia in babies include the following:

• Paleness
• Irritability
• Weakness
• Fatigue
• Shortness of breath
• Rapid heart rate
• Swelling of the hands and feet
• Enlarged spleen
• Dark urine

Anemic children may also show symptoms of jaundice though several infants display symptoms of jaundice without being anemic.

Treatment

Owing to the number of possible causes of anemia, it is necessary to first identify the cause of anemia in your child. If you notice any signs of anemia, immediately consult your family physician. The diagnosis of the disease may include a blood test that measures the red blood cells in the body.

Depending on the cause, the possible treatment options may vary and include:

• Iron supplements (tablets, drops, and liquid)
• Iron-rich diet
• Folic acid and vitamin B12 supplements

However, it is important to consult a doctor before you administer any medicine or supplement to your child. For more severe forms of anemia, the treatment options may include:

• Blood transfusion
• Treatment of infection causing anemia
• Medications to maintain the level of red blood cells in the body

Find Your Style of Parenting

There are many ideas about how to rear children. Some parents adopt the ideas their own parents used. Others get advice from friends. Some read books about parenting. Others take classes offered in the community. No one has all the answers. However, psychologists and other social scientists now know what parenting practices are most effective and are more likely to lead to positive outcomes for children.

Ideas about child rearing can be grouped into three styles. These are different ways of deciding who is responsible for what in a family.

Authoritarian

Authoritarian parents always try to be in control and exert their control on the children. These parents set strict rules to try to keep order, and they usually do this without much expression of warmth and affection. They attempt to set strict standards of conduct and are usually very critical of children for not meeting those standards. They tell children what to do, they try to make them obey and they usually do not provide children with choices or options.

Authoritarian parents don't explain why they want their children to do things. If a child questions a rule or command, the parent might answer,"Because I said so." Parents tend to focus on bad behavior, rather than positive behavior, and children are scolded or punished, often harshly, for not following the rules.Children with authoritarian parents usually do not learn to think for themselves and understand why the parent is requiring certain behaviors.

Permissive

Permissive parents give up most control to their children. Parents make few, if any, rules, and the rules that they make are usually not consistently enforced. They don't want to be tied down to routines. They want their children to feel free. They do not set clear boundaries or expectations for their children's behavior and tend to accept in a warm and loving way, however the child behaves.

Permissive parents give children as many choices as possible, even when the child is not capable of making good choices. They tend to accept a child's behavior, good or bad, and make no comment about whether it is beneficial or not. They may feel unable to change misbehavior, or they choose not to get involved.

Democratic or authoritative

Democratic parents help children learn to be responsible for themselves and to think about the consequences of their behavior. Parents do this by providing clear, reasonable expectations for their children and explanations for why they expect their children to behave in a particular manner. They monitor their children's behavior to make sure that they follow through on rules and expectations. They do this in a warm and loving manner. They often, "try to catch their children being good" and reinforcing the good behavior, rather than focusing on the bad.

For example, a child who leaves her toys on a staircase may be told not to do this because, "Someone could trip on them and get hurt and the toy might be damaged." As children mature, parents involve children in making rules and doing chores: "Who will mop the kitchen floor, and who will carry out the trash?"

Parents who have a democratic style give choices based on a child's ability. For a toddler, the choice may be "red shirt or striped shirt?" For an older child, the choice might be "apple, orange or banana?" Parents guide children's behavior by teaching, not punishing. "You threw your truck at Mindy. That hurt her. We're putting your truck away until you can play with it safely."

Which is your style?

Maybe you are somewhere in between. Think about what you want your children to learn. Research on child development shows that the most positive outcomes for children occur when parents use democratic styles. Children with permissive parents tend to be aggressive and act out, while children with authoritarian parents tend to be compliant and submissive and have low self-esteem. No parenting styles will work unless you build a loving bond with your child.

Guarding your Baby Against Accidents

In the first year of life, your child will show some astonishing development as he/she transforms from a helpless, totally dependent baby into a curious and animated bundle of energy. As your infant grows, you as the parent will have your hands full ensuring that he/she stays out of harm's way. Left unattended, it is easy for an infant to hurt himself/herself, even within the safe confines of your house.

A little common sense, combined with watchfulness, can go a long way in protecting your child against such accidents. See the chart below on how you can guard your baby against the common accidents children are prone to when they are younger than a year old.

• Choking:

Any item small enough for babies to hold in their palms may end up choking them and should be kept out of their reach.

Avoid giving your baby toys with parts that can be pried loose or torn and bitten off.

Ensure that your infant's food is cut into pieces small enough for him/her to handle.

Be extra cautious with round and hard food items such as candy or cookies. Popcorn, grapes, peanut butter, hotdogs are all harmful for young children and should not be given to them.

Avoid wearing jewelry that could be swallowed by your baby.

• Suffocation:

Don't let your baby sleep in soft, lumpy pillows or comforters. Instead use a firm mattress that fits securely into the crib.

If you smoke, avoid doing so in your house or around your baby.

• Drowning:

Never leave your baby alone in a bathtub; just a few inches of water is enough to drown an infant.

Never leave your baby unattended around water sources such as toilets, pools, swimming pool, spas and Jacuzzis.

Always keep bathtubs, buckets and other containers empty.

• Burns:

Have comfortable and flame retarding sleepwear for children.

Never juggle hot water, beverages or food while carrying your child.

Keep water heaters down to 120 F.

Install smoke detectors in your home and check the batteries regularly.

Keep children away from stoves at all times; as a precaution ensure that pot handles are turned away from the edge of the stove.

• Falls:

Never leave your baby unattended on tables, chairs, sofas or beds.

Ensure guards on all windows.

Install gates on stairways.

Ensure that the baby crib has high side rails.

• Road accidents:

Always use a car seat while driving with your baby, even while driving him/her from the hospital.

Never let the baby sit in the front seat having an air bag.

Go in for safe car seats that are approved by the government and buy new to avoid getting a defective piece.

Games for Skill Building at Ten Months

Your baby is mobile. She is aware of her surroundings. She has learned what is familiar-her family, her home and her toys. She also knows what is unfamiliar-a stranger, a sudden siren or a loud bark.

Your baby may be afraid of strangers. This is normal. It is called "stranger anxiety." This fear begins when your baby notices the differences among people. This is a big step in development. It means your baby is learning about her world and the people in it.

Children learn skills as they grow. These skills happen by certain ages. A child learns skills at her own pace. You can see how your baby is doing. Watch when she starts to crawl, walk, talk and feed herself.

Have fun helping your baby develop these skills.

Physical skills: Your baby loves to imitate you. Get on the floor and crawl with your baby. Play "Follow the Leader." Sit on the floor with her and let her copy your emotions. For example, bang on an empty box with a wooden spoon. Give the spoon to your baby and help her to bang too.

Emotional skills: Help your baby feel pride in what she does. Talk to her all through the day. Tell her she is growing strong. Tell her she is smart or kind. For example, Alma crawls toward the telephone when she hears it ring. Say, "Wow, you know that the phone is ringing. You go right to it."

Intellectual skills: Help your baby learn about sizes. Give her two or three empty boxes. Talk about the biggest, smallest, tallest, widest, longest and shortest box.

Social skills: Show your baby how to touch gently. When she grabs your hair, for example, say in a calm voice, "That hurts me. Hold your hand like this and pat Mommy's hair gently." While you say the words, hold your baby's hand open. Hold it while you slowly pat and smooth your head.

Language skills: Play lots of echo games. Call out sounds like la, la, la or ba, ba, ba. Encourage your baby to repeat the sounds. If she makes sounds, echo her. This will get her ready for saying real words.

When to Worry About Dehydration in Your Baby

Dehydration refers to a condition when the amount of fluid in a person's body is less than the ideal requirement. Babies and infants are commonly susceptible to dehydration. Dehydration in babies occurs mainly when they take in less fluid than they lose, typically through vomiting, diarrhea, fever, or perspiration. While dehydration is often mild and easily reversible, sometimes it can also be serious and potentially life threatening.

The following symptoms indicate that your child could be getting dehydrated:

• Your baby does not pass urine for more than six hours.

• Your baby's urine is dark yellow in appearance and smells quite strong.

• Your baby's appears lethargic.

• Your baby's mouth is dry or the lips are parched.

The following symptoms indicate that your baby has serious dehydration:

• Your baby's eyes are sunken in the sockets.

• Your baby's hands and feet feel cold and appear splotchy.

• Your baby experiences dizziness or seems delirious.

Here is what you can do:

• If you suspect your baby is becoming dehydrated, consult a pediatrician immediately. You could give your baby a special electrolyte liquid drink that is designed to help recover lost water and salts from the body.

• If you suspect serious dehydration, rush your baby to the emergency room. Babies get dehydrated quickly and an intravenous infusion may be necessary to restore the balance of fluids.

Note: Do not give your baby one of the sports drinks that are advertised to help sportsmen cope with dehydration; while these contain electrolytes, their sugar concentration is too high. Use Pedialyte, Infalyte, ReVital, or similar brands of electrolyte liquids that are specially designed to help rehydrate children. You may continue to breastfeed or bottle-feed your baby.

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

Sudden Infant Death syndrome (SIDS) is defined as the sudden, unexplained death of an infant, and is the one of the main causes of death among infants between a month and a year. SIDS is said to occur only when no possible explanation can be found even after:

* Autopsy

* Examination of the place where the death occurred

* Review of medical history of infant and family

The baby typically does not seem to show any sign of suffering and death occurs rapidly. In addition, SIDS is commonly known as crib death because of a strong link with sleep. It is estimated that 2,500 babies in the United States die of unknown causes every year.

Probable Causes

While no single cause can be pinpointed, researchers believe that SIDS may be the result of a combination of several factors.

During pregnancy:

* Consumption of prohibited substances during pregnancy (tobacco, alcohol, drugs, etc.)

* Early motherhood

* Poor medical care during pregnancy

* Short interval between two pregnancies

After birth:

* Exposure to smoke after birth

* Sleeping on the stomach or sleeping on too soft a surface

The last point should be emphasized, as babies tend to pause in their breathing, or re-breathe exhaled air, reducing the amount of oxygen in their blood while increasing carbon dioxide. Babies need clear space around their heads to breathe freely.

Prevention

* Ensure that your child always sleeps on the back. Sleeping on the side is also not a good alternative. For babies, sleeping on the back reduces the chance of accidental death greatly.

* Your infant's sleep area should be firm, without any pillows, toys, or covering. A firm mattress is preferable to a soft one. Remove stuffed animals during nap or sleep time

* Keep a comfortable room temperature. Excess body heat is seen to increase the chances of SIDS.

* For unknown reasons, breast-feeding and pacifiers are known to decrease the risk of SIDS.

* Keep the air around the baby free of smoke.