Eight Baby and Kid Sleep Tricks Your Doctor Will Never Tell You

Face it. Doctors are pretty lame with practical advice on stuff that should come naturally to babies. So here are a few tricks we've picked - none risky, we promise - that might help you get your baby to sleep or back on track sleep-wise.

1. Dads, take charge. This is one area where dads can really add some value. Sadly, it's because we have nothing more to add than just being odd and different though. Send dad in to do the final diapering and reading and baby won't get distracted by the thought of mommy milk or the comforting sensations of the mommy aura. This goes also, unfortunately, for midnight diaper changes when you're weaning the baby off breastfeeding. Babies won't think "food!" when they see daddy's breast-less chest and dad has a better chance of getting baby back to sleep.

2. Pump up the volume. Don't let your child get used to a completely quiet house, or you may be subject to a baby who wakes to every siren or dog bark. Usually, yes, babies sleep through anything, unless they are conditioned to complete silence. If you're using complete silence as a tactic in the sleep wars, you may be doing more harm than good.

3. Be all business at night. While moms and dads often can't resist a cuddle with the baby or even trying to get the baby to smile or laugh while changing and feeding, everyone will get back to sleep faster if you are calm and efficient in the semi-dark, getting the baby back in bed with as little distraction as possible. This way, baby knows that daytime is playtime and nighttime is "get back to sleep as soon as possible."

4. Let the baby fall asleep on his own. Every doctor or sleep specialist will encourage strict routines to help the sleep ritual. What some won't think of though is making sure you put your baby in bed when he or she is drowsy rather than completely asleep. Falling asleep on your own is an important development step for a baby, which you can help by getting your baby in bed when you sense he is getting drowsy.

5. Treat your baby like he or she has jet lag. Experts recommend that when adjusting to new time zones, you should spend daylight hours in bright sunlight and keep out all light at times you should be sleeping. The same goes for babies. Make sure his or her internal time clock knows it's nighttime.

6. Turn down the baby monitor. If you're so sleep-obsessed that you have to check on your baby every few minutes, you're going to end up teaching the baby that every gurgle or whimper gets mom or dad's attention. I am definitely not a "let them cry it out" dad, but I do know that giving in to the temptation to just peek in on them usually reset the timer on my efforts to get my kids to sleep.

7. Skip the diaper change? Yes, maybe, if you don't smell #2 and you think the diaper isn't really full. A full diaper change, complete with baby wipe hitting warm skin in the night air, will definitely wake up a sleeping baby. Wake up a baby for one last feeding before you go to bed. This might be the one trick that scores you some extra sleep. While it might be risky to wake up a baby for more stimulation, if you can accomplish the feeding to a half asleep baby, it might mean your baby remains full and satisfied all the way until morning. This means you get some much needed baby sleep of your own.

Tips for Dads trying to cut down on Kids TV watching time

We like TV. After a long day at work, it’s like a frothy dessert at the end of a mediocre meal. It might not have any nutrition value, but it’s sweet and airy and enjoyable with very little effort.  However, when TV becomes the routine and more your reality than your real life, you or your kids might have a problem. 


How to know? Do you talk about TV characters’ lives as if they were your family or close friends? Do you miss important events because you can’t bear to miss the earliest episode of your favorite show rather than time-shifting to when it’s convenient?  Would your kids rather watch TV than go to the park or go swimming? Do your kids spend more than the two-hour daily-recommended maximum time in front of the tube? If so, here are a few tips to help you cut down based on a research study in November of 2006 by the Academy of Pediatrics.

• Keep track of TV watching so you really know how bad the problem is. Most people under-estimate how much they and their children watch. Remember to count the time the TV is on is “just on” in the background.


• Take the TV out of the kids’ bedrooms. Having a TV in the bedroom makes monitoring viewing habits more difficult, as well as actual time spent. Additionally, it promotes dual watching/studying.


• Ditto the dining room. Watching TV while eating ensure less communication within the family at a key time for family bonding.


• Set rules for TV watching on school nights. 


• Eliminate background TV.


• Take responsibility for finding other things for your kids to do rather than watch TV. This will be especially true immediately after you lower their consumption. After a while, however, you’ll be surprised how kids manage to find other things to do.  After all, kids have survived for millions more years without TV than with it.

Ten Parenting Tips for New Twins

A new baby in the house means a whole lot of fun. On the flipside, it also means a whole lot of work. In the case of twins, this means not just double the fun but also double the work.

Here are some parenting tips especially meant for parents of twins:

• Work as a pair: Generally, one of the parents—typically the mom, but it could be the dad—takes over the majority of parenting chores. With twins however, it often becomes necessary for both parents to share duties more or less equally.
  
  
• Alternate between both: Do not go in for an arrangement where each spouse looks after chores related to only one of the twins. Alternate, so both parents get to handle both of the twins.
  
  
• Determine a schedule: Juggling 'sleep, eat, and play' routines for two new babies can be both, chaotic and exhausting. Getting your twins accustomed to a fixed routine makes your work easier—and is good for them too.
  
  
• Have names that sound distinct: This is an obvious point that often gets overlooked. Parents often give twins similar sounding names. While this sounds cute, it can lead to confusion.
  
  
• Dress them differently: Not just identical twins, all infants can look startlingly similar. Dressing twins differently helps to tell them apart and, at times, may help prevent unnecessary, or even grave, confusion.
  
  
• Be vigilant for infections: Twins spend most of their time together and thus are more than likely to contract infections from each other. If either of your twins seems unwell, be on your guard against the likelihood of the other one catching the 'bug' too.
  
  
• Accept friendly help: As parents of twins, you may receive well-meaning offers of help from relatives, friends, or well-wishers. If so, accept them, at least some of the time.
  
  
• Employ professional help: Employing a nanny is one way you could make the job of bringing up twins a bit easier.
  
  
• Interact with them: Parents often assume that twins can be safely left together to play with each other. While this is largely true, it does not mean that you can do away with the need for parental interaction. Remember to find the time to interact and play with your twins.
  
  
• Identify their individuality: Your twins do not necessarily have to share a lot between them—apart from their birthdays that is. Learn to know them as individuals and treat them so.

Dad's Guide to Raising Over-Scheduled Kids

We all want to make sure our kids have enough experiences so that they know where they can really shine. This in turn may provide the direction for a fulfilling life. Sometimes, however, in our zeal to show them new things, we either allow them or push them to take too much on at once. Here are a few warning signs that your child is overbooked and over-extended.

1. You find that you can't find time on their schedule to spend time with them. If your son or daughter needs his or her own copy of Outlook, you may have a problem.
2. His or her school grades are falling.
3. Your child has a hard time entertaining himself on his own.
4. Extracurricular activities start to overlap. For example, the basketball game is at the same time as the piano recital.
5. Your child seems anxious, irritable or over-tired.

How to get your child off the treadmill? Here are a few suggestions.

* First of all, don't pull the plug all at once. It's important for a child to know they need to follow through on their commitments. Look for natural breaks in the action to eliminate an activity.

* Interview your child. What makes her excited? What does she really want to do in her spare time? A frank discussion may surprise you. You may find she does some things just to please you or because her friends do it. If you can find things that really make her shine, you're on the right track.

* Consider dividing her activities up in two groups. Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld, the author of The Overscheduled Child, recommends diving activities in to "must do" and optional categories. Must do might include swimming classes at six or seven years old because you feel this is a swim safety skill that must be acquired. Once you have that list (and keep it short for any given season), allow your child to pick what goes into the optional pile, while keeping an eye on how many activities you have going on.

The American Academy of Pediatrics in the January 2007 issue says that over-scheduling is most pronounced in the nine-to-twelve years age group but it can occur at any age. They suggest that, despite a trend toward pushing kids to do more to aid in their development, kids need more play and family time. As with adults, life-balance skills have to be learned and it might be time for a lesson.

Find Your Style of Parenting

There are many ideas about how to rear children. Some parents adopt the ideas their own parents used. Others get advice from friends. Some read books about parenting. Others take classes offered in the community. No one has all the answers. However, psychologists and other social scientists now know what parenting practices are most effective and are more likely to lead to positive outcomes for children.

Ideas about child rearing can be grouped into three styles. These are different ways of deciding who is responsible for what in a family.

Authoritarian

Authoritarian parents always try to be in control and exert their control on the children. These parents set strict rules to try to keep order, and they usually do this without much expression of warmth and affection. They attempt to set strict standards of conduct and are usually very critical of children for not meeting those standards. They tell children what to do, they try to make them obey and they usually do not provide children with choices or options.

Authoritarian parents don't explain why they want their children to do things. If a child questions a rule or command, the parent might answer,"Because I said so." Parents tend to focus on bad behavior, rather than positive behavior, and children are scolded or punished, often harshly, for not following the rules.Children with authoritarian parents usually do not learn to think for themselves and understand why the parent is requiring certain behaviors.

Permissive

Permissive parents give up most control to their children. Parents make few, if any, rules, and the rules that they make are usually not consistently enforced. They don't want to be tied down to routines. They want their children to feel free. They do not set clear boundaries or expectations for their children's behavior and tend to accept in a warm and loving way, however the child behaves.

Permissive parents give children as many choices as possible, even when the child is not capable of making good choices. They tend to accept a child's behavior, good or bad, and make no comment about whether it is beneficial or not. They may feel unable to change misbehavior, or they choose not to get involved.

Democratic or authoritative

Democratic parents help children learn to be responsible for themselves and to think about the consequences of their behavior. Parents do this by providing clear, reasonable expectations for their children and explanations for why they expect their children to behave in a particular manner. They monitor their children's behavior to make sure that they follow through on rules and expectations. They do this in a warm and loving manner. They often, "try to catch their children being good" and reinforcing the good behavior, rather than focusing on the bad.

For example, a child who leaves her toys on a staircase may be told not to do this because, "Someone could trip on them and get hurt and the toy might be damaged." As children mature, parents involve children in making rules and doing chores: "Who will mop the kitchen floor, and who will carry out the trash?"

Parents who have a democratic style give choices based on a child's ability. For a toddler, the choice may be "red shirt or striped shirt?" For an older child, the choice might be "apple, orange or banana?" Parents guide children's behavior by teaching, not punishing. "You threw your truck at Mindy. That hurt her. We're putting your truck away until you can play with it safely."

Which is your style?

Maybe you are somewhere in between. Think about what you want your children to learn. Research on child development shows that the most positive outcomes for children occur when parents use democratic styles. Children with permissive parents tend to be aggressive and act out, while children with authoritarian parents tend to be compliant and submissive and have low self-esteem. No parenting styles will work unless you build a loving bond with your child.

Kids, Credit and Credit Ratings

You probably have never given much thought to your young child's credit history and rating. However, the increase in identity theft means dads have to be more vigilant about protecting their kids from thieves who will take their financial identity, often not to be discovered for many years. As crises go, this one isn't earth shattering, but the Federal Trade Commission, the federal agency that tracks identity complaints, says that 11,600 complaints for victims under 18 were filed in 2005. This is roughly double the number filed in 2003. Many of these are fraud cases involving relatives, but some involve real theft too.

What can dads do to protect their kids?

1. Guard their social security number. Social security numbers should only be given out for financial and tax purposes, and medical reasons; so ask yourself whenever anyone (school, community groups) demands your child's social security number. That goes for parents as well. At some point, the social security number could become a national ID number, but this has not yet occurred.

2. Understand how someone could use his or her number, so you understand why a child with no credit could be a target. Anyone working needs a social security number.

3. Watch the mail. Is your son or daughter suddenly getting mail solicitations for credit cards and loan products? This may be a warning sign that someone has used his or her number and your child has been identified as financially mature.

4. It's not a bad idea to consider checking your child's credit report, which you can do for free each year. You can also place a fraud alert on their records, but that has to be renewed every 90 days. Companies exist, like LifeLock (www.lifelock.com) that will track your credit and can add your children to their alerts. These are checks you can do for free by asking for a credit report, but may be worth the fees ($10 per month plus add-on of $25/year per child) if you are concerned.

Praising your Toddlers

Shaping a child's behavior is a challenging area where parents inevitably make mistakes. By our very nature, many dads prefer to approach this delicate task armed to the teeth with warnings limitations and the promise of repercussions. However, education professionals now believe that enforcing discipline in a positive manner will go a long way toward the balanced development of your child.

Praise is a contentious value of our times. Some are sure that children will be spoiled by praise. However, as a parent, you will be surprised by the flowering of peace and good manners in your home if you practice praise rather protest.

The following suggestions are likely to help you positively discipline your toddler and achieve the best practical results:

• Praise your toddlers constructively: Children are always trying to win attention and encouragement from their forbears. And they deserve both. But it is important that your responses as a parent point to the specific event for which the child is being praised. For example, when your children start eating with a spoon or learn to go potty on their own, they should be praised for doing so. "What a big girl you are. Eating on your own!" This is exactly how a developmental advance registers at the level of a child's personality.

• Be Authentic: Too often there is a mechanical tone that slips into a parent's daily vocabulary when dealing with their children. There must be a genuine and enthused feel that should be felt generously through every communication, especially praise.

• Avoid criticisms: Parents should avoid the temptation of readily criticizing their children as they are likely to undermine their children's confidence. Often, parents shame their children, contradict their praises and end up confusing the child. Example: "That's a good boy, but no more mischief please."

• Remember that kids (at least all the ones we know) are not intrinsically evil. They are learning from your cues and signals. And, at the early ages, they don't understand scoldings and can become frightened instead by your behavior. With small children, always try to imagine their perspective, from two feet off the ground, unable to guage time, and without a clearly developed sense of right and wrong, that they can only learn from you. Sometimes, it's just best to repeat to yourself, "He's only a little kid…"

Here are a few quick ways by which you can clearly communicate praise to your toddlers:

• Looking into their eyes and smiling
• Gently touching them
• Applauding them enthusiastically
• Kissing and hugging them
• Giving them a 'Thumb's Up'

Parent's Participation in Children's Education

You cannot expect the school district to bear sole responsibility for the teaching of a child. Education is a process, so stick with your child each step along the way to ensure a smooth transition through the years.

Know your child
According to Betsy Combier, administrator for the parentadvocates.org website, knowing your child is the first step. Take an active role in recognizing what your child's strengths and weaknesses are and knowing how he learns best. If you know what excites and frustrates your child from a learning perspective, then that information can serve as a point of reference for his teacher. Combier recommends sharing these feelings along with him. "Get in there," she says. "Get excited right along with him."

Be active
To maximize your child's education, it is not enough just to have your voice heard during an annual parent-teacher conference. Teachers want your help in educating your child through his successes and failures. Reach out to your child's teacher with phone calls and e-mails. If you two maintain a cooperative relationship from the onset of the school year then if and when an issue arises you can face it together as a team. A joint understanding and clear communication are usually enough to help solve any problem.

Success benchmarks
No classroom environment is perfect. One teacher cannot address each student's needs. Furthermore, since education is not one-size-fits-all, a high grade does not necessarily mean that your child is being challenged. Parents should ask teachers about course benchmarks and their child 's achievements so they are updated.

Don't forget that other parents can provide a wealth of information as well. All of you have expertise in different areas so share what you know. Also, do your part to know what's expected of your child in each grade by researching educational resources online and reading the newspaper to stay current.

Curriculum check
If you are interested in checking out your child's curriculum, approach the situation from a curiosity perspective so you're not on the offensive when talking to your child's teacher. Do not be afraid to ask questions and know there is always more work that can be done at home. You can enhance your child's education by using library resources as well.

Communication tactics
Always act with integrity because your children are watching. Be respectful of the teacher's boundaries since it is his classroom. Set up appointments beforehand and keep careful notes of any communication you have. If any issues escalate that you and the teacher or the guidance counselor cannot resolve then consider reaching out to the principal or another administrator.

No matter what your parenting style, the key to a successful academic experience is to partner with your children in their education.

Top 7 Parenting Mistakes to Avoid

If you have difficulty dealing with your children, you are not alone. Many parents seem to be quite at loss when it comes to enforcing good behavior in their children. Research has shown that some parenting styles definitely do not work. Read on to learn how you can avoid the most common parenting mistakes:

#1: Don't punish harshly. Professor of Sociology, University of New Hampshire, Murray Straus, estimates that 90 percent of parents do not think it wrong to beat children. However, researchers studying child behavior insist that punishing children too harshly is a big parenting mistake. Discipline, they say, is effective only when it is mild. For instance, "time out" should not be for more than a few minutes, and privilege withdrawal should not be extended for more than a day.

#2: Don't nag. If you think that constant nagging will get your kids to do as you want them to, think again. Research has proven that people tend to ignore repetitive commands. Not only that, nagging also negatively reinforces wrong behavior.

#3: Don't compromise. If you make rules, be ready to enforce them. Nobody expects that you set military standards for discipline for your children, but let them know that a "no" means "no." When your kids learn that you will not give in to their tantrums, they will simply stop throwing them.

#4: Don't overprotect. While it is your duty to protect your children, it is also important to let them learn from their mistakes. As psychologist and Raising Resilient Children co-author, Robert Brooks explains, "Resilient children realize that sometimes they will fail, make mistakes, have setbacks. They will attempt to learn from them."

#5: Don't over-praise. An important aspect of parenting is to praise children for exemplary behavior. However, if you habitually applaud every thing they do, you may end up undermining the effectiveness of praise as a form of positive reinforcement. This is because your children may not understand why you are praising them, or may even overestimate their own worth.

#6: Don't stress grades. Academics are important for your children, but a common parenting mistake is to stress grades over creativity. Psychiatrist and author of Great Kids, Stanley Greenspan points out that while parents make children learn rules and facts, it is more difficult to get them to think creatively. Creativity, however, is essential to help children to discard ideas that don't work and look for alternative solutions.

#7: Don't disregard feelings. Myrna Shure, author of Raising a Thinking Child, says that children need to be able to examine their feelings about things. One of the most common mistakes parents make is disregard their children's feelings-by telling them not to cry, for instance. A better approach is to show empathy by letting children know that you understand how they feel.

Your parenting styles are likely to impact the way your child grows up. Being responsive to your children, and at the same time, setting clear rules and limits, is crucial for you as a parent.

Do's and Don'ts for Discipline Your Toddler

The transition from baby to toddler is also the stage when your child will learn to accept and give in to your authority, at least in certain matters. The process will be gradual and involve a certain amount of stress for both of you.

Your child will rebel and will test your will against his on at least some occasions; but tact and resolve in handling such situations should get you through.

Some Do's and Don'ts to guide you in disciplining your child, are as follows:

Do's:

• Set correct and clear rules: Let your toddler be sure of what right behavior is and what unacceptable behavior is.

• Be consistent. Don't expect your child to know that jumping on the couch at home is okay, but not at the neighbor's house.

• Be firm: Your toddler will try to change your mind and bend the rules; but you should be firm about your disciplinary directives and learn to say 'no'.

• Be gentle and sympathetic: Generally, your toddler will happily listen to you if you are gentle and encouraging.

• Supervise your toddler's actions: Let your toddler know you are keeping a tab on its actions.

Don'ts:

• Do not set unrealistic rules: You must remember your toddler is only a child and not an adult. Therefore, you should consider what is normal from a toddler's point of view and accordingly set limits.

• Do not get personal: Criticize your toddler's unacceptable actions and not your toddler. Avoid generalizing when it comes to your toddler's mistakes. No child wants to hear that they "always" spill their milk, or make a mess.

• Do not hit your child: While you may get frustrated, nothing can take back hitting your child for a mistake they make, mostly unknowingly. Always remember the basic goodness of children. They are mostly testing and learning and it's your job to keep them from destroying themselves and others during this process.